2020 has taught me two things; 1. Healing is necessary and 2. How
healing is a lifelong journey. Healing is not a destination or a one-stop shop.
It indeed is a process that we must experience and endure with elegance,
compassion, self-love, and above all else … humility. As one layer is uncovered
in the process, then addressed and healed, another is almost immediately to
appear, requesting for the attention of its owner – self. Life is always
happening and that unfortunately is something we cannot control. It is an
inevitable cycle of circumstances, connections, letdowns, accomplishments, and
more. Despite experiencing many levels of healing, stemming from childhood and
adolescent wounds, I realized as life continues to unfold itself in its peculiar
ways, so do the inner layers within which need healing.
As humans we have a vulnerable soul, we have a heart filled with
emotions, we have a mind loaded with thoughts, we have a body that serves to
survive yet we have pain, which is oozing to be felt, we have scars that we are
expecting to fade away and we have wounds which are patiently waiting to be
healed. One thing I have learned is that it is important to know what you are wanting
to heal from. It’s essential to acknowledge the heart breaks, grief, losses,
and disappointments of your past in order to make progress.
One cannot heal without being able to find comfort. So often we suffer
in silence because we struggle to recognize that our comfort zone is an
unhealthy place for us to be in and fail to recognize that our pain is the
center cushion in the comfort zone. Being honest and I mean brutally
honest is the key element in the journey of healing. It took me awhile to be realistic
with myself and it hurt, but I was able to understand and see the things as
well as people that were beneficial for me and those that were damaging. Being
honest with oneself takes being willing to get out of one’s feelings, one’s
personal space and comfort zone in order to take risks. I never understood how
important exposure was until now. I have been fortunate enough to be
exposed to other environments and people and that have allowed me to see a
purpose larger than the box I was socialized to be in. Sometimes we have
experienced so much toxicity in our lives that it does not go away. But never
allow those difficult experiences to hinder your growth or purpose.
“You
cannot think you can heal from any pain, while you avoid it.”
Healing should not be viewed as a destination … It is dangerous when we do so. You must start
to view and discuss healing as a journey. It’s like how our bodies work … We get hurt, we lose blood, the wound swells,
we feel pain, then, the bleeding stops, the swelling reduces, the pain declines
but the marks stay, etc. Same is how our soul works, yet it is more sensitive,
but it heals by recognition, recovery of the memories, acceptance of the disappointments,
tears for the defeat, remorse over the actions, and feeling whatever emotions
you’re getting in your head and allowing it to be your remedy.
But unlike our bodies our soul does not come with a clock, we all vary and so does our time of healing. There is no timeline for healing. It may take days, it may take weeks, it may take months, it may take years, it may come back when any memory hits you again, it may come back no matter how far you have come or how much time have passed! And it pretty much sucks to be standing at the same point you thought you had moved away from and that is how it actually works; and we cannot remove it from our lives. The bruises that are physical are less harmful than the spiritual ones. It’s going to be hard, but eventually and slowly but surely, with the help of faith, no matter how grave the wound, it will be filled, no matter how long it takes, you will be Healed. And healing comes with a price, but it surely will be worth it. 💕
