Growing through Grief

I've learned that grief is a process, not an event. There is no instant fix to suffering. There are no words for times like this or the moments one experiences. Neither pretty nor subtle words can ease your pain, take away the origin of what you suffer. Every loss is different. Grief is hard work and there is no blueprint or timeline that works the same for everyone. We all approach, handle and express grief differently. Some days will be harder than others. Some days you will feel as if you're barely existing. The one thing I am continuing to learn daily is to be patient with myself. 

Most of our pain comes from wishing things were different. That our lives didn't have to change from the pain. In grief, there may be many days when we feel devastated, preoccupied, empty and, yet, filled with loneliness. Other days may be a bit brighter, and it feels possible to grow from grief even though we know that growth may take time. Growth is rarely easy and almost always brings with it at least some measure of pain.  

When we are in midst of grief, the very idea that we can grow through this devastating reality seems so unacceptable, it seems unreal, and unattainable. We have no choice about loss. We have no choice about the grief that ensues. However we do have one choice within our grief. Grief will change us ... whether we want it to or not. Things will never be the same. We will never be the same. The choice we have is not whether we will change—but how we choose to change. We can choose to grow up or grow down. ✨

"There is no pain so great as the memory of joy in present grief." 

"Tears are the silent language of grief." 

"Happiness is beneficial for the body, but it is grief that develops the powers of the mind." "There is no grief like the grief that does not speak."

🕊 We can have all the time in the world with people and sometimes it’s never enough and sometimes we aren’t given enough time for people to show us the world ... 🌹 in grief, there is no stage called closure. Little by little we let go of loss BUT NEVER let go of love 💕 We’re never ready to let go. I read something that said “life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.” Because we often look at death as the opposite of life instead of apart of it. This thing we live called life is nothing but a brief intermission between life and death. I’m happy he uses me asmouthpiece from time to time. I’m dying inside to get there now instead of later. But praying my words to others suffice ✨💙

💘 Love Isn't Complicated ...

 

​​It may be safe to say that no one has ever loved anyone the way that person wanted to be loved. We just have to accept the fact that some people are going to stay in our hearts even if they don’t stay in our lives. ​Love isn't complicated, people are. ​People make love more complicated than it should be. Love should be easy and fun. If you are loved and love someone, I see no reason why you should​n'​t be happy. ​{Alexa play Mary J. Blige "Be Happy"} ​I think that every female has been in a ​position​ where she has liked someone, but isn't sure as to whether or not he likes her as much as he may say he does. So, her mind tells her to step back and see if he will​ seek​ her. Sometimes it works in love and sometimes it doesn't.

The truth of the matter is - when someone wants to be with you ... you'll know! ​They​ will make sure you are aware of ​their ​intentions and ​their​ interest​edness​ for you AND ONLY YOU! ​Th​e​y​ will put in the effort and it won't go ​overlooked​. There are no games, no drama, no stress/pressure. I promise you that it is SO simple; people make it complicated. We are all guilty of going after people that are wrong for us, trying to make those people THE ONE, allowing ​ourselves to be stringed along because it feels right in the moment but in your heart it feels so wrong. Sometimes it's hard to walk away ... but always remember your worth. Always find the courage to get up and leave the table if respect is no longer being served! ​There's never anything wrong with having to eat alone for a while. ​Too often many of us waste our time with ​human beings​ who aren't sure whether we are the right one for them and one thing we can not get back is time, so why waste it! Relationships really aren't that complicated. ​People ​make them that way! Real love is simple. Real relationships are simple. When you’ve only had that complicated kind of love, when that’s the only kind of relationship you’ve ever known, you won’t know the difference until you’ve experienced a different kind of love - the real kind.

It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return {LIKE HELL - Alexa play Whitney Houston Why Does It Hurt So Bad} but what is most ​hurtful is to love someone and never find the courage to let the person know how you feel. A lot of times when we are in a relationship we love, we go through the ​unacceptable​, knowing that the ​acceptable​ that we get out of the relationship greatly outweighs anything else. Love is the easiest thing there is. Again I repeat ... Real love is simple. Real relationships are simple.​ Love isn't complicated ... people are!​ It’s the layers of doubt, fear, and expectation that make it complicated and the heart has reasons that reason does not understand. Always remember that the game of love and the people who play it is complicated, but love itself is not complicated. 💘

 

** Love is never complicated. Ever.​ **​​