It’s going to hurt until you heal …

 

Have you ever been in a dark place yet somehow God still used you to be a light for others? Every time I mention this line to others it’s mixed signals; some are confused as to how the two can be and others believe they know exactly the feelings that lie with what I ask. But have you ever been in a dark place? I mean so dark that even the smallest amount of light can’t creep inside. So dark that any ounce of sunlight doesn’t feel normal. It Takes Everything You’ve Got to Get Out of a Dark Place!

For weeks I have been comfortable in a dark place YET still found time to be a light for others. Celebrating others, making time for others, attending events, traveling, being of service, being a listening ear for others, consoling others, sending gifts, loving others, speaking life into others, making others smile and so much more. YET, here in this dark place, I was still being a light for others. In this dark place where you feel helpless. Where days blend into each other and time has no value. Self-care isn’t important and rest is the escape from reality. It’s a place where you don’t care too much about anything. It’s a period in your life when the world could hurt, and you don’t seem to care.

It’s going to hurt until you heal … When I felt uncomfortable, I would find a way to occupy my time and distract my heart. But distractions only last so long and the heart can only take so much! Many of us desire what we give to others yet don’t receive it. We count our blessings while waiting for blessings that feel like they may never come. We become weary from worrying about what’s next instead of focusing on what’s going on right now. For several days I sat in a dark place … with my thoughts, my feelings, God, my tears, and fears! Darkness has a way of recapping the light you’ve been allotted on all those other days. In these past several days post-hospital, post-doctor’s, post-darkness, work, and everything in between I have learned that sitting in darkness is beneficial, as long as we are able to find hope and give it purpose. I was prepared to let mine suck me in because I became content in such a space that provided me comfort.

Then I had a moment and it came to me as such … The darkness can feel very consuming, and often we feel as small as the stars in the night sky, but there is something else that is really significant for us to remember. At some point, every day, the darkness slowly shifts into light, the moon and the stars keep traveling, and the sun rises and night turns into day. In a Biblical sense to me, it means this

 John 1:5. “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” 

The good news is that regardless of how bad things may seem or how bad things could get, there's always hope. You don’t need to sink in the darkness with light. You don’t need to replace negativity with positivity. You bring the darkness to the light. Like an offering. That means you honor what is first before you try to change it. Sit in your hurt. Wallow in your hurt. Feel your pain. I KNOW IT SOUNDS INSANE! But in my darkness, I have learned that you must meet yourself where you're at, before moving forward. Regardless of how many times you run from it, it will always meet you again until you sit in your darkness and heal … for some of us it will be harder than others but as Nora Roberts said, “There’s no reward without work, no victory without effort, no battle won without risk.” 

“To see a candle's light, one must take it into a dark place.”