being picky.

So ladies, is this how you feel sometimes?Is this totally you? Are you being so picky that you are overlooking great possibilities? Trust some of us are so picky we don't even realize it !!!

Don't get me wrong I definitely agree that every girl deserves a good guy. No it's not wrong to have standards, but damn it sometimes the standards are way to high. Sometimes us as women require so much from a man we couldn't even give back in return. I.E. he needs to be college educated/graduate, yet you only have a high school diploma, he needs to be established in life w a career etc, yet you hop from job to job if the pay is good, he can't have NO kids, yet you may have 1 or sometimes 3 and w 3 different fathers. I can go on but you get the point. Sometimes we become so focused on the path to finding Mr. Right that we can't seem to see the perfectly imperfect guy right outside our window. 

So here it goes, a little listing of a few things I have come to realize after years and recent discussion w female friends and associates who are single, etc.

• the common "he's just not my type" but when I ask you why he isn't good enough or your type you really don't have no concrete reason as to why. you might not even have a "type" but you just know that whatever it is YOU don't really have that he isn't it. Reality is this, you don't know what you want and w that being said you won't ever be satisfied in a relationship. Truth be told. 
• the "list" yes you know the must haves of your man. some women have the specifics down to a drop of a dime, height, weight, build, hair, bank account goals, dimples, no dimples, no hair, head full of hair, beards only, etc. Now don't get me wrong I am not saying don't have expectations of what you would like in a man, but the reality is the chances of finding all that in a man and more is slim to none. Modify that list a bit, but still stay true to what you truly desire, such as family oriented, faith in God, etc but all that bank account amount, must have hair, etc is just making you crazy. You never know you may not be attracted to that bald man, but he may be very much so attractive to you and could give you most of the things you require on your "list". STEP OUTSIDE THE BOX
• the little things, YES ladies the little things. Now please don't lie nor get mad when I say this because it is true. We put WAY TOO MUCH emphasis on the little things. Soon as something goes wrong we are often ready to pack up and say "I am done". It is okay to have a list of deal breakers, one of mine is CIGARETTES. I just can't tolerate it not one bit and that is something I won't budge over. Before it was that and he couldn't eat red meat or pork because I don't eat it but guess what if he chooses to be a carnivore that's on him (see the little things we make BIG things). You have to ask yourself this, what is most important to you and what you want out of the relationship or any relationship. If one of your main essentials is that he has to be a family guy, and you can see that he is close to his mom and wouldn't mind having kids one day GREAT !!! That alone may be enough reason for you to overlook his big nose, or his bald head, or that he chews w his mouth open. (WAY TOO MUCH emphasis on the little things) 
• your friend's don't wanna help you no more !!! Ever had your friends think they know you well enough to hook you up? and by chance you may have passed down EVERY one of their suggestions and the one's you didn't turn down you were so guarded and stuck in your ways you probably never had a 2nd date. But if your friends have tried to hook you up with a variety of men, from light skin to dark skin, tall to short, bald to having a head full of hair, educated to street hood, etc maybe the common denominator isn't the men but maybe it's just YOU ! A good friend won't set you up w someone they don't believe is worthy of your time or wouldn't be an extremely good match for you, oh no not one bit. 
• when was your last long term relationship? can't even recall the last time you've had a boyfriend huh and NO I don't mean someone who you have sex with maybe 2 or 3 times a week because it's an understanding, and NO I don't mean a "situationship" cause you are yet to try and understand and figure out what the hell is going on, but an actual relationship. And trust it's not because guys don't try to pursue you. Maybe the last relationship was a horrible heartache, maybe you're scared of experiencing that again, and maybe you feel that being picky is your own way of protecting yourself and making sure it doesn't happen again. 
• cloud 9 love affair. you can't always expect an overwhelming, magical situation to occur right away, but don't get me wrong I am a believer in love at first sight but sometimes it may take looking thru the peek hole 3 or 4 times to realize it in others. But this is the truth, don't ever disregard attraction because it is important. BUT if you confuse attraction w "type" you will overlook it every time. and sometimes ATTRACTION DOESN'T COME INSTANTLY - sometimes it comes along in the midst of getting to know someone. If he at least seems like a decent guy then damn it give that guy a chance !!! Always remember this, sometimes a spark takes a while to build before turning into a flame. <3