I agree that opposites do attract, but not when you have absolutely NOTHING in common. I have always been open minded to dating men from different backgrounds, religious standpoints, etc. Don't get me wrong I still think it's great to meet people who are different, have different perspectives, challenge you and open you up to experiencing life in new ways. But there's a huge difference between "they know how to meringue and I've never done that before" and "we have nothing to talk about over dinner!"
What I have found to be true, is that people who date become more alike over time and you build common interests, so it's not that important that you have everything in common with each other. It's important to date someone you have some common interests with. One thing with dating that we need to understand is PEOPLE ARE NOT PROJECTS !!! Take my word for it please. We all have dated someone in the past in whom we thought we could mold into the person we wanted them to be ... example; oh he/she smokes weed but I bet I can change that. Do you know how fucked up that is? Getting into a relationship out of a place of pure judgment? Often what a person does in their spare time or part time life doesn't define them ... like Drake said "smoke a lot of weed but her shit's together." If you are dating someone just to change them, let me spare you the headache ... people don't often change! Not saying change isn't possible and that change isn't good, but if that's your whole motive then you are already entering a relationship for all the wrong reasons.
Have you ever dated someone because of who they are or because of their job? Don't lie .... I am sure we all have at some point in time in our lives. But the reality is this, common interests are often what bring two people together but they will NOT keep you together. What I have been told is that common interests have nothing to do with COMPATIBILITY. I always shake my head and say "how Sway how?" but it holds some validation. Compatibility is about respect, first and foremost. Example: if you like running and I don't we can be perfectly happy together - just as long as you not out here judging me for not running and I am not trying to stop you from running. Simple as that.
The beauty of getting to know someone is asking the right questions and getting honest answers. Be aware that with honesty comes answers we won't like and that's cool. People are allowed their opinions. So again I ask ... is having things in common necessary for a relationship to thrive? Can the relationship work? Often people are interested in you and you think to yourself .... would this even work? What I have grown to see over the years, is that the older you get the more your views change on certain topics. When I was in my 20's dating was fun and a lot of things didn't really matter as much. But what I am now realizing in my 30's is that common interests mean just a little bit more than they did in my 20's. It's hard to build something with someone you share NO common interests with. Can a social butterfly date a caterpillar? Possibly. The differences are always needed when dating because it allows you both to grow and explore new things, but how can you get to explore the growth when you can't get past the first stage due to no common interests?
Don't ever be subjective to believe that a great relationship requires common interests, but do know this !!! There is nothing wrong with your relationship if you don't share common interests or activities. BUT and let me repeat that part ... BUT if you and your partner are forcing yourselves to engage in common activities and the communication is hard (via text, calls, over dinner, etc.) and the results are stress, tension, conflict and lack of interest DON'T DO IT!
Oh and don't let SEX be the binding factor either. Yes they may be great in bed, but if we can't hold a great conversation outside of the bedroom it won't work. A relationship can't be built off just SEX alone (don't get me mistaken because it does play a factor).
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