THE FRIEND ZONE

FRIEND ZONE GONE WRONG?

I am sure we all have regretted throwing someone in the friend zone, possibly tossed Mr./Mrs. Right in there because of one simple flaw that made you throw a curve ball. Once someone is placed in the friend zone is there any way of coming out of the friend zone? For me personally, I always say NO because if I friend zone you it's damn near a done deal. You are now like a brother to me, or my annoying cousin from up north, etc. But ask yourself this "are we friend zoning all the wrong people without giving them a chance?"

Ever been told ... you're a great listener? you're a real catch? just to name a few ... that my dear is often when you have officially been friend zoned. 

The great irony is that the friend zone really doesn't exist. The notion that once people make friends, they will never progress to a romantic relationship, is quickly debunked by a glance at the real world, replete with couples who were friends for months or years before their relationship sparked. “Friend-zoning is a terrible thing. The idea of a friend zone is like a terrible, male… have you ever heard a girl say she’s in the friend zone? It’s a thing I think men need to be really careful about using… I definitely think the idea of friend zone is just men going, ‘This woman won’t have sex with me.'" It has been said that in this day and age women are well known for placing men in the friend zone.

Do women regret ever putting guys in the "Friend Zone"?
Have any of you ever gone back to them after letting them go for someone else? Do you ever think about them afterwards? I hear that once you're in the friend zone, it's pretty much a done deal. What are some of the signs to identify if you are in the "friend zone"?

* chosen communication is TEXT .... no I don't mean sexting either ! all communication is done via text and you barely know what his/her voice sounds like.
* he/she is a grouper - not sure what a grouper is? someone who prefers to hang out in mostly groups. don't get me wrong meeting each other's friends is great, but if a girl/guy really likes you they will only want to spend time with you and see you !
* your one on one time is nonsexual. now please don't get me wrong it's not to say you should be dropping panties/boxers immediately but if their is an interest there, of course it would be a sexual spark or even some kind of conversation along the lines.
* he/she talks about other guys/girls they are interested in with you. If I can talk to you about dudes I talk to or have interest in then you are in the "friend zone"

So is the friend zone actually worth being in? Think about it honestly.

From a man’s point of view, the friend zone is usually perceived as the absolute worst place you want to be….OR IS IT? My position on the friend zone is a little different than most men and from most women. I think the friend zone allows you to get to know the woman better than you would if you were to just hop into a situation where you are dealing with her on an intimate level. Think about it, when you’re in a relationship the person that you are with should be like your best friend. There shouldn’t be anything that you can’t tell that person and nothing they should be able to share everything with you . So the best way to start a relationship that is truly worth anything is to start off as friends. When a woman trusts you with her friendship you can get the information from her that should help you decide if she is even worth pursuing. A lot of times women tell you things without actually telling you. All you have to do is engage in conversation and listen. Not only that, even if you never get out of the friend zone with that particular woman, she is more then likely to give you insight and information that you can use in the future with other women. A lot of men think that they have to kick some type of game in order to make sure that they stay out of the friend zone. <--- PURE BULLSHIT !!! 

 But the fact of the matter is, the key to staying out of the friend zone is honesty. All you have to do is be honest with the woman. She will respect that a lot more then if you are pretending to be her friend just to get a taste of her cookies. If you are only trying to get the drawls, then just let her know and see if she is down with it. I always tell my friends this because 85% of the time you will meet a woman who is just about the sex and nothing more. So why waste time with pursuit if your intentions are just sexual?  If she is with it, then you have just landed into a “friends with benefits” situation. The good thing about that is that if you really like her then the friends with benefits has the possibility of turning into a real deal relationship. Don’t be afraid of those types of situations either. Sometimes the friends with benefits can turn out to be the best ones for you. You’ve been friends for so long, and you just begin to know each other so well that it only makes sense that you take things to the next level and pursue a relationship with the person.

I bet you thought I wouldn't get on the ladies huh?
Now ladies, you have to know that the friend zone is an asset to you, BUT you have to use it wisely. You can’t just go putting every dude you meet in the friend zone just because you are waiting on Idris Elba to pop into your life. You need to use the friend zone as a way to get a better understanding of men, and why we do what we do. Choose the men who you put into the friend zone very very wisely. If the man isn’t bringing some sort of value to your life, then you need to cut him of. NOT FRIEND ZONE HIM .... CUT HIM OFF !!! We can't hold onto anyone or anything that doesn't add some kind of value or purpose to our life, whether it is emotionally, physically, spiritually, etc.  At least be honest with him and let him know that this relationship is going no further then the occasional phone call, text messages while you’re bored at work, and a meal from Ruby Tuesdays on your off pay weeks. If you have a dude that you know you only want to be friends with, you need to tell him so that there are no unrealistic expectations on his part. A dude will spend a lot of his time and money just because he thinks he has a shot at becoming more than friends. You don’t really want to do this to a guy who is a genuine good dude. Because all you are doing is damaging this man and making it harder for the next woman. Now if it’s somebody who you don’t really care about and you know he only wants sex, aye that’s all part of the game. You may want the same thing that he wants. Or then again you may not. Just don’t lead the guy on. Let him decide if he wants to be in that friend zone or not. The friend zone definitely has its purpose, but I think the key to it is communication. The key to any great relationship is COMMUNICATION. If you feel like you’re in the zone and you don’t want to be, you have to let her know. It’s possible that she put you there subconsciously and didn’t know that you really had an interest. Ladies, if you want to put a man in the zone then you HAVE to let him know where he stands if he is making any type of moves on you. It’s only fair that when you see signs of the friend zone developing that you discuss it with the other party so that neither of you is wasting your time. 

What do you say? Do you think that women and men feel the same way about the friend zone?