Tuesday, December 17, 2019

New Year ... New Views !!! Cheers to 2020




Image result for new year new view 2020

๐™’๐™๐™š๐™ฃ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™œ๐™จ ๐™–๐™ง๐™š ๐™ง๐™š๐™ข๐™ค๐™ซ๐™š๐™™ ๐™›๐™ง๐™ค๐™ข ๐™ฎ๐™ค๐™ช๐™ง ๐™ก๐™ž๐™›๐™š, ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š๐™ฎ ๐™œ๐™ž๐™ซ๐™š ๐™ฎ๐™ค๐™ช ๐™–๐™ฃ ๐™ค๐™ฅ๐™ฅ๐™ค๐™ง๐™ฉ๐™ช๐™ฃ๐™ž๐™ฉ๐™ฎ ๐™ฉ๐™ค ๐™จ๐™š๐™š ๐™ฎ๐™ค๐™ช๐™ง๐™จ๐™š๐™ก๐™›. 2019 MAAAAY ๐™๐™–๐™ซ๐™š ๐™—๐™š๐™š๐™ฃ ๐™– ๐™ง๐™ค๐™ช๐™œ๐™ ๐™ฎ๐™š๐™–๐™ง ๐™›๐™ค๐™ง ๐™ข๐™–๐™ฃ๐™ฎ ๐™ค๐™› ๐™ช๐™จ ๐™–๐™ฃ๐™™ ๐™œ๐™ง๐™–๐™ฃ๐™ฉ๐™š๐™™ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š ๐™ฎ๐™š๐™–๐™ง ๐™ž๐™จ๐™ฃโ€™๐™ฉ ๐™ค๐™ซ๐™š๐™ง ๐™ฎ๐™š๐™ฉ ๐™ฌ๐™š ๐™๐™–๐™ซ๐™š ๐™ข๐™–๐™™๐™š ๐™ž๐™ฉ. ๐™๐™ค๐™ง ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š ๐™ข๐™ค๐™จ๐™ฉ ๐™ฅ๐™–๐™ง๐™ฉ ๐™ฌ๐™š ๐™๐™–๐™ซ๐™š ๐™ข๐™–๐™™๐™š ๐™ž๐™ฉ. P๐™š๐™ง๐™จ๐™ค๐™ฃ๐™–๐™ก ๐™™๐™ž๐™จ๐™–๐™จ๐™ฉ๐™š๐™ง๐™จ; ๐™ก๐™ž๐™ ๐™š ๐™—๐™ง๐™š๐™–๐™ ๐™ช๐™ฅ๐™จ, ๐™Ÿ๐™ค๐™— ๐™ก๐™ค๐™จ๐™จ๐™š๐™จ, ๐™–๐™ฃ๐™™ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š ๐™™๐™š๐™–๐™ฉ๐™ ๐™ค๐™› ๐™ก๐™ค๐™ซ๐™š๐™™ ๐™ค๐™ฃ๐™š๐™จ; ๐™ฉ๐™๐™–๐™ฉ ๐™ฉ๐™š๐™ฃ๐™™ ๐™ฉ๐™ค ๐™–๐™™๐™™ ๐™›๐™ช๐™š๐™ก ๐™ฉ๐™ค ๐™– ๐™ฃ๐™ค๐™ฉ-๐™œ๐™ง๐™š๐™–๐™ฉ 12 ๐™ข๐™ค๐™ฃ๐™ฉ๐™๐™จ. ๐˜ฝ๐™ช๐™ฉ ๐™—๐™š๐™›๐™ค๐™ง๐™š 2019 ๐™š๐™ฃ๐™™๐™จ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š๐™ง๐™š ๐™–๐™ง๐™š ๐™ข๐™ค๐™ง๐™š ๐™ฉ๐™ค๐™ญ๐™ž๐™˜ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™œ๐™จ ๐™ฉ๐™ค ๐™ง๐™š๐™ข๐™ค๐™ซ๐™š ๐™›๐™ง๐™ค๐™ข ๐™ฎ๐™ค๐™ช๐™ง ๐™ก๐™ž๐™›๐™š. L๐™ž๐™ ๐™š ๐™จ๐™ค๐™˜๐™ž๐™–๐™ก ๐™ข๐™š๐™™๐™ž๐™–, ๐™—๐™–๐™™ ๐™›๐™ง๐™ž๐™š๐™ฃ๐™™๐™จ, single-minded ๐™ง๐™ค๐™ข๐™–๐™ฃ๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™˜ ๐™ฅ๐™–๐™ง๐™ฉ๐™ฃ๐™š๐™ง๐™จ, ๐™–๐™ฃ๐™™ ๐™ช๐™ฃ๐™–๐™ซ๐™–๐™ž๐™ก๐™–๐™—๐™ก๐™š ๐™˜๐™ง๐™ช๐™จ๐™๐™š๐™จ/๐™›๐™ง๐™ž๐™š๐™ฃ๐™™๐™จ/๐™›๐™–๐™ข๐™ž๐™ก๐™ฎ ๐™š๐™ฉ๐™˜. L๐™š๐™ฉโ€™๐™จ ๐™ข๐™–๐™ ๐™š ๐™ง๐™ค๐™ค๐™ข ๐™ฃ๐™ค๐™ฌ ๐™›๐™ค๐™ง ๐™–๐™ก๐™ก ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š ๐™š๐™ญ๐™˜๐™ž๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™œ ๐™ฃ๐™š๐™ฌ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™œ๐™จ ๐™๐™š๐™–๐™™๐™š๐™™ ๐™ค๐™ช๐™ง ๐™ฌ๐™–๐™ฎ ๐™ž๐™ฃ 2020. ๐™๐™๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™œ๐™จ ๐™จ๐™ช๐™˜๐™ ๐™–๐™จ ๐™ก๐™ค๐™ซ๐™š, ๐™ฃ๐™š๐™ฌ ๐™ก๐™ž๐™›๐™š, ๐™ฃ๐™š๐™ฌ ๐™›๐™ง๐™ž๐™š๐™ฃ๐™™๐™จ๐™๐™ž๐™ฅ๐™จ, ๐™—๐™ช๐™จ๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™š๐™จ๐™จ ๐™ซ๐™š๐™ฃ๐™ฉ๐™ช๐™ง๐™š๐™จ, ๐™Ÿ๐™ค๐™— ๐™ค๐™ฅ๐™ฅ๐™ค๐™ง๐™ฉ๐™ช๐™ฃ๐™ž๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™š๐™จ, ๐™™๐™ž๐™›๐™›๐™š๐™ง๐™š๐™ฃ๐™ฉ ๐™จ๐™ค๐™˜๐™ž๐™–๐™ก ๐™˜๐™ž๐™ง๐™˜๐™ก๐™š๐™จ, ๐™š๐™ฉ๐™˜


As the old Marie Kondo adage goes, 'when you get rid of old clothes (and bad habits), i.e., the stuff that no longer fits right, no longer feels good, and no longer meshes with who you are today, you give yourself permission to open up space for the stuff that fits better.'

G๐™ž๐™ซ๐™š ๐™ช๐™ฅ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š ๐™ฉ๐™๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™œ๐™จ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™–๐™ฉ divert ๐™ฎ๐™ค๐™ช ๐™›๐™ง๐™ค๐™ข ๐™ฎ๐™ค๐™ช๐™ง ๐™œ๐™ค๐™–๐™ก๐™จ. ๐™„๐™ฃ๐™จ๐™ฉ๐™š๐™–๐™™ ๐™ค๐™› ๐™–๐™™๐™™๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™œ ๐™ข๐™ค๐™ง๐™š ๐™ฉ๐™๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™œ๐™จ ๐™ฉ๐™ค ๐™ฎ๐™ค๐™ช๐™ง ๐™ก๐™ž๐™›๐™š, ๐™ฉ๐™ง๐™ฎ ๐™ง๐™š๐™ข๐™ค๐™ซ๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™œ ๐™จ๐™ค๐™ข๐™š ๐™ฃ๐™š๐™œ๐™–๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™ซ๐™š ๐™ฉ๐™๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™œ๐™จ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™–๐™ฉ ๐™๐™ค๐™ก๐™™ ๐™ฎ๐™ค๐™ช ๐™—๐™–๐™˜๐™ .

๐™๐™š๐™ข๐™ค๐™ซ๐™š ๐™€๐™ญ๐™˜๐™ช๐™จ๐™š๐™จ. ๐™๐™š๐™ข๐™ค๐™ซ๐™š ๐™‹๐™š๐™ง๐™›๐™š๐™˜๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™ค๐™ฃ๐™ž๐™จ๐™ข. ๐™๐™š๐™ข๐™ค๐™ซ๐™š ๐™๐™š๐™–๐™ง. ๐™๐™š๐™ข๐™ค๐™ซ๐™š ๐™๐™๐™š ๐™‰๐™š๐™š๐™™ ๐™๐™ค ๐˜พ๐™ค๐™ฃ๐™ฉ๐™ง๐™ค๐™ก ๐™€๐™ซ๐™š๐™ง๐™ฎ๐™ฉ๐™๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™œ. ๐™๐™š๐™ข๐™ค๐™ซ๐™š ๐˜ผ ๐™๐™ž๐™ญ๐™š๐™™ ๐™ˆ๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™™๐™จ๐™š๐™ฉ. ๐™๐™š๐™ข๐™ค๐™ซ๐™š ๐™๐™ค๐™ญ๐™ž๐™˜ ๐™‹๐™š๐™ค๐™ฅ๐™ก๐™š. ๐™๐™š๐™ข๐™ค๐™ซ๐™š ๐™๐™๐™š ๐™‰๐™š๐™š๐™™ ๐™๐™ค ๐™Ž๐™–๐™ฎ ๐™”๐™š๐™จ (๐™’๐™๐™š๐™ฃ ๐™๐™š๐™–๐™ก๐™ก๐™ฎ ๐™”๐™ค๐™ช ๐™’๐™–๐™ฃ๐™ฉ ๐™๐™ค ๐™Ž๐™–๐™ฎ ๐™‰๐™ค).

๐˜พ๐™๐™–๐™ฃ๐™œ๐™š ๐™ž๐™จ ๐™จ๐™ค๐™ข๐™š๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™ข๐™š๐™จ ๐™– ๐™œ๐™ค๐™ค๐™™ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™œ, ๐™š๐™จ๐™ฅ๐™š๐™˜๐™ž๐™–๐™ก๐™ก๐™ฎ ๐™ž๐™› ๐™ฎ๐™ค๐™ช'๐™ซ๐™š ๐™œ๐™ค๐™ฉ๐™ฉ๐™š๐™ฃ ๐™ฉ๐™ค๐™ค ๐™˜๐™ค๐™ข๐™›๐™ค๐™ง๐™ฉ๐™–๐™—๐™ก๐™š ๐™–๐™ฃ๐™™ ๐™จ๐™ฉ๐™ค๐™ฅ๐™ฅ๐™š๐™™ ๐™œ๐™ง๐™ค๐™ฌ๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™œ. ๐™’๐™š ๐™˜๐™–๐™ฃ ๐™ฃ๐™–๐™ฉ๐™ช๐™ง๐™–๐™ก๐™ก๐™ฎ ๐™œ๐™š๐™ฉ self-satisfied ๐™ž๐™ฃ ๐™ก๐™ž๐™›๐™š, ๐™ฌ๐™ž๐™ฉ๐™ ๐™ค๐™ช๐™ง ๐™Ÿ๐™ค๐™—๐™จ, ๐™–๐™˜๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™ซ๐™ž๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™š๐™จ, ๐™›๐™ง๐™ž๐™š๐™ฃ๐™™๐™จ๐™๐™ž๐™ฅ๐™จ ๐™–๐™ฃ๐™™ ๐™–๐™ฉ๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™ฉ๐™ช๐™™๐™š๐™จ. ๐˜ฟ๐™ค๐™ฃ ๐™ฉ ๐™จ๐™š๐™ฉ๐™ฉ๐™ก๐™š ๐™›๐™ค๐™ง ๐™– so-so ๐™ก๐™ž๐™›๐™š, ๐™ฉ๐™๐™ž๐™จ ๐™ž๐™จ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š ๐™ค๐™ฃ๐™ก๐™ฎ ๐™ค๐™ฃ๐™š ๐™ฎ๐™ค๐™ชโ€™๐™ซ๐™š ๐™œ๐™ค๐™ฉ.

2 ๐™ฉ๐™๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™œ๐™จ ๐™„โ€™๐™ซ๐™š ๐™ก๐™š๐™–๐™ง๐™ฃ๐™š๐™™ ๐™ž๐™ฃ ๐™ก๐™ž๐™›๐™š ๐™–๐™—๐™ค๐™ช๐™ฉ ๐™ฅ๐™š๐™ค๐™ฅ๐™ก๐™š โ€ฆ
1) ๐™จ๐™ค๐™ข๐™š๐™ค๐™ฃ๐™šโ€™๐™จ ๐™ฅ๐™ง๐™š๐™จ๐™š๐™ฃ๐™˜๐™š, ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š ๐™ง๐™ž๐™œ๐™๐™ฉ ๐™จ๐™ค๐™ข๐™š๐™ค๐™ฃ๐™š ๐™˜๐™–๐™ฃ ๐™˜๐™ง๐™š๐™–๐™ฉ๐™š ๐™›๐™š๐™š๐™ก๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™œ๐™จ ๐™ค๐™› ๐™Ÿ๐™ค๐™ฎ ๐™–๐™ฃ๐™™ ๐™ง๐™š๐™ก๐™ž๐™š๐™›.
2) ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š ๐™ฅ๐™ง๐™š๐™จ๐™š๐™ฃ๐™˜๐™š ๐™ค๐™› ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š ๐™ฌ๐™ง๐™ค๐™ฃ๐™œ ๐™ฅ๐™š๐™ง๐™จ๐™ค๐™ฃ ๐™˜๐™–๐™ฃ ๐™˜๐™ง๐™š๐™–๐™ฉ๐™š ๐™– ๐™จ๐™ค๐™ง๐™ฉ ๐™ค๐™› ๐™š๐™ข๐™ค๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™ค๐™ฃ๐™–๐™ก ๐™˜๐™ค๐™ฃ๐™›๐™ก๐™ž๐™˜๐™ฉ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™–๐™ฉ ๐™˜๐™–๐™ฃ ๐™™๐™–๐™ข๐™–๐™œ๐™š ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š ๐™จ๐™ค๐™ช๐™ก.

M๐™–๐™ ๐™š ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š ๐™ฅ๐™ง๐™ค๐™ฅ๐™š๐™ง ๐™™๐™š๐™˜๐™ž๐™จ๐™ž๐™ค๐™ฃ๐™จ ๐™ฉ๐™ค ๐™ฅ๐™ช๐™ฉ ๐™ฎ๐™ค๐™ช๐™ง๐™จ๐™š๐™ก๐™› ๐™˜๐™ก๐™ค๐™จ๐™š๐™ง ๐™ฉ๐™ค ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š ๐™ฅ๐™š๐™–๐™˜๐™š ๐™–๐™ฃ๐™™ ๐™Ÿ๐™ค๐™ฎ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™–๐™ฉ ๐™ฎ๐™ค๐™ช ๐™™๐™š๐™จ๐™š๐™ง๐™ซ๐™š ๐™™๐™ช๐™ง๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™œ ๐™ฎ๐™ค๐™ช๐™ง ๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™ข๐™š ๐™๐™š๐™ง๐™š ๐™ค๐™ฃ ๐™š๐™–๐™ง๐™ฉ๐™. S๐™ค๐™ข๐™š๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™ข๐™š๐™จ ๐™– ๐™ก๐™ค๐™จ๐™จ ๐™ž๐™จ ๐™– ๐™œ๐™–๐™ž๐™ฃ. S๐™ค๐™ข๐™š๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™ข๐™š๐™จ ๐™ฎ๐™ค๐™ช ๐™๐™–๐™ซ๐™š ๐™ฉ๐™ค ๐™ก๐™ค๐™จ๐™š ๐™ฉ๐™๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™œ๐™จ ๐™ฉ๐™ค ๐™œ๐™–๐™ž๐™ฃ ๐™ข๐™ค๐™ง๐™š ๐™–๐™ฃ๐™™ ๐™จ๐™ค๐™ข๐™š๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™ข๐™š๐™จ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š ๐™ฉ๐™๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™œ๐™จ ๐™ฎ๐™ค๐™ช ๐™ฉ๐™๐™ค๐™ช๐™œ๐™๐™ฉ ๐™ฎ๐™ค๐™ช ๐™ก๐™ค๐™จ๐™ฉ ๐™ฌ๐™š๐™ง๐™š๐™ฃโ€™๐™ฉ ๐™ก๐™ค๐™จ๐™จ๐™š๐™จ ๐™–๐™ฉ ๐™–๐™ก๐™ก. B๐™š๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™œ ๐™ฌ๐™ž๐™ฉ๐™ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š ๐™ง๐™ž๐™œ๐™๐™ฉ ๐™ฅ๐™š๐™ง๐™จ๐™ค๐™ฃ, ๐™จ๐™ช๐™ง๐™ง๐™ค๐™ช๐™ฃ๐™™๐™š๐™™ ๐™—๐™ฎ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š ๐™ง๐™ž๐™œ๐™๐™ฉ ๐™ฅ๐™š๐™ค๐™ฅ๐™ก๐™š ๐™ž๐™จ ๐™จ๐™ค๐™ข๐™š๐™ฉ๐™๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™œ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™–๐™ฉ Iโ€™๐™ซ๐™š ๐™จ๐™ฉ๐™ง๐™ž๐™ซ๐™š๐™™ ๐™›๐™ค๐™ง ๐™—๐™ช๐™ฉ ๐™ž๐™ฃ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š ๐™š๐™ฃ๐™™, ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š๐™ง๐™šโ€™๐™จ ๐™ฃ๐™ค๐™ฉ๐™๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™œ ๐™ฌ๐™ง๐™ค๐™ฃ๐™œ ๐™ฌ๐™ž๐™ฉ๐™ ๐™—๐™š๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™œ ๐™–๐™ก๐™ค๐™ฃ๐™š ๐™ž๐™› ๐™ž๐™ฉ ๐™ข๐™š๐™–๐™ฃ๐™จ ๐™—๐™š๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™œ ๐™˜๐™ก๐™ค๐™จ๐™š๐™ง ๐™ฉ๐™ค ๐™๐™–๐™ฅ๐™ฅ๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™š๐™จ๐™จ. ๐™„ ๐™ฅ๐™ง๐™–๐™ฎ ๐™–๐™ฃ๐™™ ๐™๐™ค๐™ฅ๐™š ๐™ฉ๐™๐™ค๐™จ๐™š ๐™ฌ๐™๐™ค ๐™ฃ๐™š๐™š๐™™ ๐™ฉ๐™ค ๐™–๐™ง๐™š ๐™–๐™—๐™ก๐™š ๐™ฉ๐™ค ๐™›๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™™ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š ๐™จ๐™ฉ๐™ง๐™š๐™ฃ๐™œ๐™ฉ๐™ ๐™ฉ๐™ค ๐™ก๐™š๐™ฉ ๐™œ๐™ค ๐™ค๐™› ๐™–๐™ก๐™ก ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š ๐™ฉ๐™๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™œ๐™จ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™–๐™ฉ ๐™ฃ๐™ค ๐™ก๐™ค๐™ฃ๐™œ๐™š๐™ง ๐™จ๐™š๐™ง๐™ซ๐™š ๐™– ๐™ฅ๐™ค๐™จ๐™ž๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™ซ๐™š ๐™ฅ๐™ช๐™ง๐™ฅ๐™ค๐™จ๐™š ๐™ž๐™ฃ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š๐™ž๐™ง ๐™ก๐™ž๐™›๐™š.

๐ŸŒป๐ŸŒป๐ŸŒป๐ŸŒป๐ŸŒป๐ŸŒป๐ŸŒป๐ŸŒป๐ŸŒป๐ŸŒป๐ŸŒป๐ŸŒป๐ŸŒป๐ŸŒป๐ŸŒป๐ŸŒป๐ŸŒป๐ŸŒป๐ŸŒป๐ŸŒป๐ŸŒป๐ŸŒป๐ŸŒป๐ŸŒป

The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for. 
-Bob Marley ๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’œ


๐Ÿฆ„ ๐ฟ๐‘œ๐“‹๐‘’ ๐’พ๐“ˆ ๐ฟ๐‘œ๐“‹๐‘’ ... ๐‘’๐“‹๐‘’๐“ƒ ๐’พ๐’ป ๐’พ๐“‰ ๐’พ๐“ˆ ๐’ป๐“‡๐‘œ๐“‚ ๐’ถ ๐’น๐’พ๐“ˆ๐“‰๐’ถ๐“ƒ๐’ธ๐‘’. ๐Ÿฆ„

๐ป๐‘’๐“‡๐‘’โ€™๐“ˆ ๐“‰๐‘œ 2020 ๐ŸŒŸ๐ŸŒป๐ŸŒป

Tuesday, December 3, 2019

Everyone Doesn't Deserve You !!!

Of all the people we will date in life, finding someone who truly deserves you will be like looking for a needle in a haystack. There will be individuals whoโ€™ll measure up in many ways but finding someone who really has your best interest at heart and is a balance with you in all the ways that matter isnโ€™t always easy.  Because of this, every now and then we tend to hang on longer than we should when itโ€™s just not right! Every now and then the person youโ€™re dating doesnโ€™t deserve you. Wait .... what did she say? ๐Ÿคจ Yes chiiiilllleโ€™ read it again .... sometimes the person youโ€™re dating DOES NOT DESERVE YOUโ€ผ๏ธ

Have you ever met someone with a flawless relationship? Trust and believe itโ€™s a lot of hurt behind closed doors, but so often we get caught up that we miss the signs. A partner is supposed to support you, so your doubts are limited.


SUPPORT:  bear all or part of the weight of; hold up. a thing (partner) that bears the weight of something (partner) or keeps it upright. to hold up or serve as a foundation. to keep from fainting, yielding, or losing courage: COMFORT

Now if you find yourself in a connection in which you are often wondering what the hell youโ€™re doing with your life, then dear that is NOT a good sign. A relationship is supposed to be about finding your equal. If your companion makes you feel like you donโ€™t measure up to their expectations, or if you donโ€™t feel like youโ€™re on the same page than .... ๐Ÿ›‘ that my friends is another red flag. You may have accomplished more than your partner or vice versa, you may have your shit together and they could be working on getting their shit together ... regardless of the nature of your differences it should be respected, valued, appreciated and all the above. If someone doesnโ€™t respect your dreams, understand your grind, and/or push you to be a better you than you were the day before then they donโ€™t respect you either. Self-absorption is factual. Self-absorption can lead to a controlling relationship. A relationship should NEVER be about one individual ... but always recognize whoโ€™s needs get the most attention!

Everyone doesnโ€™t deserve you!!! How do they make you feel? Itโ€™s one thing if youโ€™re equal in position to their family and close friends, but you shouldnโ€™t be second. No one should ever feel that theyโ€™re not of importance to their partner. If thereโ€™s a big imbalance in how much they give and how much you give, it simply means theyโ€™re not invested as much as you. You want someone whoโ€™s giving it their all and not being just half-assed about you or your relationship. Just remember how perfectly fine you were doing before them and how perfectly fine you will do after they are gone. You can't be with someone like thisโ€”someone who makes you feel unhappy, depressed, confused, and wounded.

** DO NOT LOSE YOURSELF **
Itโ€™s normal to change a bit in a relationship, as a means to adjust, but you should never lose yourself completely. Sometimes we miss the signs of change and look at it as โ€œevolving!โ€

EVOLVE: to produce by natural processes
Keyword: NATURAL ... not because or for someone else.


Donโ€™t allow that breakdown to happen. Donโ€™t let your companion break you! Itโ€™s in that breaking point that insecurities arise and your self-worth plunges. That is not the sign of a healthy relationship. People who make those they claim to love feel inferior are dealing with their own problems and hang-ups. Youโ€™re better than that. To quote Eleanor Roosevelt, โ€œNo one can make you feel inferior without your consent.โ€ Donโ€™t give them that permission. Itโ€™s sad how someone can go from being the reason you wake up smiling ... to the reason you cry yourself to sleep at night! Just remember how perfectly fine you were doing before them and how perfectly fine you will do after them. Your life doesn't depend on them ...if you're giving your all to someone and they can't even appreciate it, then what are you doing? You give your heart to people who donโ€™t deserve it because your uncertainty of self. You think, maybe Iโ€™m asking for too much, or being unreasonable, but you shouldnโ€™t have to guard your wants and needs, and the right person would definitely be willing to meet them. Your feelings arenโ€™t unreasonable and wanting the love you know that you deserve isnโ€™t either.

** EVERYONE DOESNโ€™T DESERVE YOU โ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธโ€œ ๐Ÿ’œ

Friday, November 15, 2019

Fear of Falling in Love๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ’œ


Image result for fear of falling in love 
Who isnโ€™t on some level fearful or resistant to, not just falling in love, but also living in love? Many of us, but how many will openly admit it? Here I am, experiencing the fear of happiness,  the fear of love, the fear of intimacy. With that fear we defend ourselves, self-protect, and self-sabotage when it comes to love or the possibility of anything good!

Liking someone is easy. It's controllable. It doesn't hurt you. You don't have to force it back like a tablespoon of โ€œtussinโ€. It's delicate, but in the best way. Letting ourselves fall in love means taking a real risk. We must place ourselves in a great amount of trust in another person, allowing them to affect us, which makes us feel unprotected and defenseless. Our core defenses are tested. We tend to believe that the more we care, the more we can get hurt. Weโ€™re afraid to put ourselves out there and be vulnerable with our emotions.

Love is a risk, perhaps the biggest gamble weโ€™ll take in our lives, let telling the dealer โ€œhit meโ€ when you have 17 in a game of black jack but hopeful for a 4. We make a choice to choose to put all our trust and faith into someone who, letโ€™s be honest, we donโ€™t even fucking know. Crazy right?!?! Love is that indefinable feeling that weโ€™re all searching for. Who doesnโ€™t want to fall in love? Who doesnโ€™t want to be uncontrollably happy with someone else? Even those of us who claim to not currently be looking for a serious relationship (those is me โ€ฆ I am those) ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚โ€“ we have an unspoken contract with ourselves that would all change if the right person were to suddenly walk or โ€œdiddy bopโ€ into our lives; because who would turn down the opportunity of falling in love? Love is completely different and way more complex, and that's my dear readers is why it's scary. Scary like Nightmare on Elm Street scary โ€ฆ This blog post is for the unprepared. Those who may have allowed the possibility of love creep up on them. And let me reassure you this one thing; NO MATTER how ready you feel you are, I guarantee that isn't enough. It may never be enough. And you must be OK with that. When we engage in a relationship, we are rarely fully aware of how weโ€™ve been impacted by our past. The ways we were hurt in previous relationships, friendships and even kinship's. Old, negative dynamics make us wary of opening ourselves up to someone new. We find ourselves steering away from affection and intimacy, because it stirs up those old feelings of hurt, loss, anger, disappointment or rejection. โ€œWhen you long for something, like love, it becomes associated with pain,โ€ the pain you felt at not having it in the past or never having at all.

What I am starting to understand is that love is about being OK. You must learn to be OK with rescheduled dinners, and families, and the possibility of forever. You must learn to be OK with sometimes coming up short because you don't know enough. Many of us scuffle with underlying feelings of being unlovable. We have an uneasy feeling of our own value and believing that anyone could really care for us. Why would they? We all have a โ€œdangerous inner voice,โ€ which acts like a red headed stepchild inside our heads that tells us we are undeserving and unworthy of happiness. Love means not just spending time together but also learning and understanding the element of spending time apart and being able to continue with life and not melting down, being honest about the silliest things and even the things we rather not be honest about at all. That's all tough to accomplish.

That โ€œinner voiceโ€ can be damaging and unpleasant, but at the same time itโ€™s also comfortable in its familiarity. When someone sees us differently from our voices, affectionate and appreciating us, we start to feel uncomfortable and defensive, because it challenges who we are. BREATHE!!! ๐Ÿ˜ฃ๐Ÿ˜–I know it's weird. I know itโ€™s much easier said than done, too. Truth be told, being scared to love someone else isn't about the other person; it's about you. You feel insignificant and confused. Tenacious views of not being good enough plague you every waking moment and if you are like me even your sleeping moments. But I am learning day by day that I am enough as are you! Any time we experience true joy or feel the valuableness of life on an emotional level, we can expect to feel a great amount of unhappiness. I tend to be one of those people who will quickly shy away from the things that would make me happiest, why. Because they also make me feel pain. The opposite is also true. We cannot selectively numb ourselves to unhappiness without numbing ourselves to happiness. When it comes to falling in love, Iโ€™m hesitant to go โ€œall in,โ€ for fear of the unhappiness it could stir up in me. Someone once said to me, โ€œYou can never be anything worse than the demons in your own mind, so free yourself of small worries and breatheโ€. The hesitation of getting involved with someone, because that person โ€œlikes me too much.โ€ But one thing that love can often be is imbalanced, with one person feeling more or less from minute to minute. Our feelings toward someone are an ever-changing force. In a matter of seconds, we can experience anger, irritation or even hate for a person we love. Worrying over how we will feel keeps us from seeing where our feelings would indeed go. โ€œWorry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.โ€ ...

I rationalize to myself a million reasons I shouldnโ€™t be in a relationship. Nevertheless, the reasons I give often have doable solutions, and whatโ€™s really driving me is the deeper fear of loss. Relationships bring up an ambush of challenges. By getting to know ourselves, we give ourselves the best chance of finding and maintaining long-lasting love. Hereโ€™s the deal: when it comes to relationships, the only thing we can be certain of is uncertainty. Weโ€™re all a little afraid; some of us simply choose to push through the fear, and some of us donโ€™t. Not a single person on this planet is fearless.

I now find myself trying to be the person who isnโ€™t holding back their true feelings, the person who casts a shadow over her Shea Butter (raw) emotions; because the only person I am hurting in the process is myself. Worry about the what ifs, donโ€™t worry about a future which you eventually canโ€™t control, and donโ€™t worry if you are the person who seems to always care more; because someone will always care more than the other. Allowing worry or guilt over how we may or may not feel keeps us from getting to know someone who is expressing interest in us and may prevent us from forming a relationship that could really make us happy. Maybe even the happiest we have ever been. 

As rapper Drake's mama said, "Who the f*** wants to be 70 and alone?" Human interaction is important, but love is essential. Stop worrying. Stop wondering. Stop stressing. Love is hard but it is also easy. They call it falling in love for a reason, right? But we must let ourselves go to do so without wound.


"Love from ourselves and other people can help us feel like we have value. Deep down, we all want to be loved and wanted."  ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’˜๐Ÿ’‹


Tuesday, October 15, 2019

Personal Conversation ...


Image result for god will give you more than you can handle


People are often telling me, "God won't give you more than you can bear," or when someone is experiencing difficulty in their lives, we often say to them, โ€œDonโ€™t worry, God wonโ€™t give you any more than you can handle.โ€ But the truth of the matter is ....


Yes, God Will Give You More Than You Can Handle
Image result for god will give you more than you can handle

I have been writing and writing in journals for so many years and when I have those random moments in which I look back through them I often read, โ€œGod, I canโ€™t handle this anymore. I donโ€™t know what to do ... I give up, I quit, if it's your will, why me, why can't it just be over, etc." Over the years circumstances in my life have been nothing short of overwhelming, everything crumbling, and my world literally fell apart within 365 days year after year after year for about 4 years straight and counting. Real talk, it has been so many days when people have come alongside me and tried to reassure me by saying, โ€œGod wonโ€™t give you more than you can handle,โ€ & the first thought was to punch them in the face all while saying "are you serious? HE sees all this pain I am carrying yet I continue to endure more ... so does he think I'm built Ford tough?" ๐Ÿ˜• When we are down and out and feeling discouraged, having a bad day, heartbroken, missing a loved one, etc; hearing those words don't mean SHIT and can cause us to feel like we aren't measuring up. It causes us to ask, โ€œwhy canโ€™t I handle it?โ€

Truth be told, God never told not nann (yes NOT NAAN) one of us that HE wouldn't give us more than we can handle. A few ugly truths are this:
1. There will be times in life when you will feel like you are drowning. 
2. There is no one to help you.
3. IT. WILL. HURT. LIKE. HELL โ—โ—โ—

Suffering doesnโ€™t ask if youโ€™re ready. It doesn't send a text message or put a reminder on our calendars. It may come slowly or unknown and often unseen and with a vengeance, but it doesnโ€™t ask permission, and it doesnโ€™t care about convenience, feelings, or fucks given for that matter. Thereโ€™s never a good time for your life to be shattered. Trials come in all shapes and sizes, but they donโ€™t come to show how much we can take or how we have it all together. Mind-boggling suffering will come our way because we live in a crippled world with damaged souls (people). And when it comes, letโ€™s be clear that by no means whatsoever that we have what it takes to handle it. God will truly give us more than we can handleโ€”but not more than HE can! Even though the words are meant for reassurance they can often serve as discouragement. Sometimes it can even tempt us to ignore our suffering and pretend itโ€™s not there. It can lead us to believe the lie that we can do it ourselves; that we can handle it and the truth of the matter is WE CAN NOT! We stumble so much because we fail to recognize that sometimes we canโ€™t make it on our own.

The verse most often quoted to support this is, โ€œNo temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure itโ€ (I Corinthians 10:13) "Paul pointed out that we always have a choice: engage in sin or run from it. The promise is that God will always provide a way for us to run from it. Letโ€™s be clear: Paul was talking about temptation, not suffering."

With temptation, we have a choice, but with suffering we often donโ€™t have a choice. A few months ago, I remember being out with some colleagues and getting a text that read " ... in ICU she's holding strong but the doctors gave a tough report today. Sorry to text you with not good news. Love you.๐Ÿ’—" I was already in suffering mode and the actual conversation happened shortly after. For days and days, I tussled with whether to fly home or just wait for the call and be ready for the end results. Sometimes, it seems as no matter how prepared you may or may not feel, you are still never really ready! I ended up flying home and just remember driving straight to the hospital from the airport , and I just sat there and wept ๐Ÿ˜ข and thought to myself, โ€œIโ€™d do anything to NOT have to experience this pain againโ€ yet โ€œIโ€™d do anything to NOT let Jessica experience this pain alone.โ€ It was one of the most powerless feelings that I was experiencing for the 4th year in a row all within another 365 days. Trust and believe that I did not choose this. My family did not choose this. In moments like these we feel utterly destroyed.

โ€œThis is too much for me!โ€ A forever kind of thought. Those same words I have written over and over in many of my journals, even still till this' very day! Even Jesus has cried out, Matthew 26:38 โ€œMy soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death.โ€ What I am learning in this lifetime and from my past time is itโ€™s OK to feel like we canโ€™t handle it, like we are going to give up. We can cry out, our souls can be empty, and there will be bad days. I believe that the reality is, once we are able to come to terms with who and what we are; and become aware that life will indeed give us more than we can handle, we find an assurance (BLESSED): God is faithful to meet us in the mess and in the pain. Makes perfect sense why they always tell us "cast our fears, worries, suffering and pain on God..." But even this can seem like a stale phrase. Because when it really hurts, I mean really hurts, like stubbed your toe against the door, couch, or bed kind of HURT .... God can seem so far away. This is where good friends and good friends in FAITH come in. You will help each other to move ahead, and you will need each other far more than those stale phrases. It is without a doubt that life becomes unmanageable, and you must have someone who is willing to walk alongside you; whether to hold your hand, hold the umbrella to weather the downpour, or chase the clouds away. Learning to be there for one another in the midst of all the anguish.

When we are willing to rest in the pain of one another, to ride out with one another when lifeโ€™s highway turns problematic like I-77 during a morning commute (or any time of the day at this point) or I-95S if you didn't get on the road before 7AM, and to accept one anotherโ€™s burdens when they are too heavy, we personify something so much greater. While life can sometimes be too much, through the goodness of HIM we become a living and breathing testimony .... many of us become a


Personal Conversation

Tuesday, September 24, 2019

Single or Settle ...

Settling is an ugly, depressing word. But the pressure to settle can be very real, even if it is not communicated explicitly. People who are single after a certain age are often seen as "too picky" and urged to lower their standards. We learn that our worth is tied up in our ability to find a mate; that marriage marks the passage into mature adulthood and is our most important adult relationship; and that we are not complete until we find our other half. But where the hell is this written down at, what book is this published in? And then there is the issue of our "biological clocks," I mean it's no wonder that people feel rushed to settle down before they are ready, or before they find the right match. People in bad relationships are often just as depressed and lonely as people who are single. Given the importance of social connection to our well-being, it clearly makes sense that we seek out intimate relationships, but when fear of being alone drives our romantic decisions, it can lead us to engage in poor judgment and to choose relationships that are unlikely to last, that make us depressed, or even leave us vulnerable to abuse (mentally and physically). I remember reading somewhere that ... If we take the โ€œmusical chairsโ€ approachโ€”โ€œWhen you take a seat, any seat, just so youโ€™re not left standing alone,โ€ we may miss critical warning signs that a potential partner is bad news.

Being single is not always bad as it has its benefits. Being single is an opportunity to build strong friendships, devote yourself to activities and causes that youโ€™re passionate about, and develop a sense of self-worth and identity that is not attached to another person's love and approval. All of these things truly serve us well if and when we find our self's in a relationship: if you feel satisfied in your life independent of your partner, you may be less likely to have the unrealistic expectation that your partner can and should meet all your needs, an expectation. Settling is what I like to call the safe bet, whereas holding out is a gamble. There is a reasonable chance that many of us wonโ€™t find true love. But the payoff is so much bigger. For every story you hear about someone who was too picky and ended up alone and miserable, there is another story about someone who stuck to their guns and ultimately found someone amazing who made the wait more than worth it. Would you rather meet the love of your life at age 40 and spend 50 wonderful years with them, or be stuck with someone you didn't really connect with for your entire adult life? Settling for an unhappy relationship because youโ€™ve already invested a lot in it is like going to a concert when you're sick with the flu, or continuing to invest in a company that is doomed to fail. Loss is inevitable; itโ€™s just a matter of whether you get out now and lose less, or stay invested and risk an even greater loss.

Now let me be clear about a few things. Accepting a personโ€™s flaws does not mean having to settle for them. People are sometimes too perfectionist about the qualities they want in a partner and reject potentially great people for superficial reasons (like not being tall enough, he didn't have a beard, he's light skin, she didn't have a fat ass, I couldn't read her instead of getting to know her, and all that other shit we feed ourselves) that will not prove to be what matter in the long run (like kindness & CONNECTION). But when you fall in love with someone, accepting their shortcomings doesnโ€™t feel like settling. Rather than picking apart a personโ€™s negative and positive qualities, we should look at the big picture of who they are as a person and how we feel when we are with them. If the relationship feels right as a whole; like fresh hot biscuits from Red Lobster or ya momma's biscuit (yes ya momma's biscuits, LOL) and the important bases are covered then there is nothing that needs to be settled for. RIDE THAT SHIT THE FUCK OUT!

Relationships!!!! URGH ...  It is a scary thing in today's world. At least, I think so anyways. No one never likes being called โ€œpicky.โ€ You start to contemplate questions like, โ€œAm I being too hard on men?โ€ or โ€œIs what I want unrealistic?โ€ Entertaining the word โ€œpickyโ€ is the gateway drug to settling. Many of us have had at least one relationship with an emotionally unavailable person who didnโ€™t really want to commit. Then many of us have gone on multiple dates with someone, despite an absence of something, chemistry, connection โ€” that thing that makes us excited to put down our book, our phones when together, or face inclement weather just to see someone. (YES you remember that one person who you'd drive out to see during that winter storm and risk being snowed in with!)

The truth of the matter is no one tells you what it looks like to settle. It doesn't have a face, no one knows what it looks like, some don't even know how it feels. I had a friend ask me before, โ€œWhat do you think it means to settle? I mean, what is it, actually?โ€ My answer is โ€œItโ€™s settling if you feel like it is.โ€ The definition of settling isn't universal because settling is individually felt. You have to believe that what you're looking for is out there, even though you're yet to encounter it. What's heartbreaking is that today many people aren't designed to settle on connection. And what is connection, anyway? It can be described a lot of ways: attachment, support, understanding, history, etc, etc, etc. But I believe itโ€™s feeling the endless potential for growth with a single person, someone who seems to help you become more, which might be harder to find than ever before.

You donโ€™t owe anyone an explanation for ending a relationship or staying single. When you are single, you embrace it for what it is: AWESOME or at least that's what it's suppose to be. So then, when you begin dating, you begin looking for something else. Not saving, but something greater than what you have alone. Truth is women donโ€™t โ€œneedโ€ a relationship for opportunities, as they might have benefited from one in the past. Women are pursuing more, independent, financially and in spirit burning our sage, drinking our water and so much more. So don't allow someone to label you as "picky" just let them know you're "selective" SHIT you have every right to be. Again I remind you ... You donโ€™t owe anyone an explanation for ending a relationship or staying single.

So, the next time you wonder if youโ€™re settling, ask yourself if it feels like you are. The next time you wonder what connection really is, and if youโ€™ve ever found it, ask yourself if youโ€™ve felt that โ€œclickโ€ with anyone who seemed to provide genuine opportunity for growth whether it's together or apart. I am a firm believer in love and feeling your romantic decisions deep in your core, like mind, body and soul type core, no matter what they are, and no matter who on the outside does/doesnโ€™t understand. There is no formula, no secret. Whatever love-seeking decision you make, itโ€™ll cost you. Just about everything in life comes with a price! You may let someone go youโ€™re not so fond about and be alone for a long time, maybe forever. And you might stay with them and regret your decision, always wondering if you could have found someone better.

๐Ÿ’” Kindred, But Not Compatible (Yet?)

We loved from different clocks. One of us was ready. The other was reckless with timing . And now? Now, the roles are reversedโ€” Growth has s...