Chapter 33

Welcome to Chapter 33 

The time is now and I embark on a new year of life. I took a break and re evaluated life for the whole month of August. I cried a lot, experienced death w people I love so dear and near, learned to keep your friends close as possible, love up on your family so much that they suffocate and be open to love from others when you feel that it is genuine. I have learned that in our darkest hours when it feels like God has turned off the lights, he has truly only dimmed them so that you can relax and unwind to prepare for the sun to shine back in. As I embark on this new journey called 33 I hope he continues to keep me, continues to provide for me when I feel like there is no way for it all to happen. That he continues to prove to me why he alone is God and to trust solely in him. IN this new chapter called 33, I hope to love more, enjoy life, continue to understand that trouble don't last always and that when people genuinely love you, nothing comes between that !!! Every day I learn to love more, pray more, worry less, be more forgiving of myself as well as w others and understand that not everyone who says that they love you really want what is best for you. It's okay to learn to love folks from a distance, everyone who's in the stands isn't always there to be supportive. 

Be blessed .... stay tuned. 

HIM

There was something about him that drew me in. 

Something about him that that was different than the rest. 

Something about him that kept me coming back. 

There was something about him.

He stimulated my mental and made my soul smile. 

He listened to my heart even when I didn't think it could speak. 

He was captivated by my inner beauty, just infatuated with me. 

There was something about him.

He talked I listened. I spoke he listened. 

He heard my song cry. I heard his song cry. 

There was something about him.

There was something about him that drew me in. 

Something about him that was different than the rest. 

Something about him that kept me coming back. 

There was something about him. 

being picky.

So ladies, is this how you feel sometimes?Is this totally you? Are you being so picky that you are overlooking great possibilities? Trust some of us are so picky we don't even realize it !!!

Don't get me wrong I definitely agree that every girl deserves a good guy. No it's not wrong to have standards, but damn it sometimes the standards are way to high. Sometimes us as women require so much from a man we couldn't even give back in return. I.E. he needs to be college educated/graduate, yet you only have a high school diploma, he needs to be established in life w a career etc, yet you hop from job to job if the pay is good, he can't have NO kids, yet you may have 1 or sometimes 3 and w 3 different fathers. I can go on but you get the point. Sometimes we become so focused on the path to finding Mr. Right that we can't seem to see the perfectly imperfect guy right outside our window. 

So here it goes, a little listing of a few things I have come to realize after years and recent discussion w female friends and associates who are single, etc.

• the common "he's just not my type" but when I ask you why he isn't good enough or your type you really don't have no concrete reason as to why. you might not even have a "type" but you just know that whatever it is YOU don't really have that he isn't it. Reality is this, you don't know what you want and w that being said you won't ever be satisfied in a relationship. Truth be told. 
• the "list" yes you know the must haves of your man. some women have the specifics down to a drop of a dime, height, weight, build, hair, bank account goals, dimples, no dimples, no hair, head full of hair, beards only, etc. Now don't get me wrong I am not saying don't have expectations of what you would like in a man, but the reality is the chances of finding all that in a man and more is slim to none. Modify that list a bit, but still stay true to what you truly desire, such as family oriented, faith in God, etc but all that bank account amount, must have hair, etc is just making you crazy. You never know you may not be attracted to that bald man, but he may be very much so attractive to you and could give you most of the things you require on your "list". STEP OUTSIDE THE BOX
• the little things, YES ladies the little things. Now please don't lie nor get mad when I say this because it is true. We put WAY TOO MUCH emphasis on the little things. Soon as something goes wrong we are often ready to pack up and say "I am done". It is okay to have a list of deal breakers, one of mine is CIGARETTES. I just can't tolerate it not one bit and that is something I won't budge over. Before it was that and he couldn't eat red meat or pork because I don't eat it but guess what if he chooses to be a carnivore that's on him (see the little things we make BIG things). You have to ask yourself this, what is most important to you and what you want out of the relationship or any relationship. If one of your main essentials is that he has to be a family guy, and you can see that he is close to his mom and wouldn't mind having kids one day GREAT !!! That alone may be enough reason for you to overlook his big nose, or his bald head, or that he chews w his mouth open. (WAY TOO MUCH emphasis on the little things) 
• your friend's don't wanna help you no more !!! Ever had your friends think they know you well enough to hook you up? and by chance you may have passed down EVERY one of their suggestions and the one's you didn't turn down you were so guarded and stuck in your ways you probably never had a 2nd date. But if your friends have tried to hook you up with a variety of men, from light skin to dark skin, tall to short, bald to having a head full of hair, educated to street hood, etc maybe the common denominator isn't the men but maybe it's just YOU ! A good friend won't set you up w someone they don't believe is worthy of your time or wouldn't be an extremely good match for you, oh no not one bit. 
• when was your last long term relationship? can't even recall the last time you've had a boyfriend huh and NO I don't mean someone who you have sex with maybe 2 or 3 times a week because it's an understanding, and NO I don't mean a "situationship" cause you are yet to try and understand and figure out what the hell is going on, but an actual relationship. And trust it's not because guys don't try to pursue you. Maybe the last relationship was a horrible heartache, maybe you're scared of experiencing that again, and maybe you feel that being picky is your own way of protecting yourself and making sure it doesn't happen again. 
• cloud 9 love affair. you can't always expect an overwhelming, magical situation to occur right away, but don't get me wrong I am a believer in love at first sight but sometimes it may take looking thru the peek hole 3 or 4 times to realize it in others. But this is the truth, don't ever disregard attraction because it is important. BUT if you confuse attraction w "type" you will overlook it every time. and sometimes ATTRACTION DOESN'T COME INSTANTLY - sometimes it comes along in the midst of getting to know someone. If he at least seems like a decent guy then damn it give that guy a chance !!! Always remember this, sometimes a spark takes a while to build before turning into a flame. <3

Don't Worry; Matthew 6:34

For we don't know what tomorrow may bring, let us not worry but be thankful for today <3

stepping out of your comfort zone.

Sharing the 6 steps ...

1

Make a fool of yourself. One of the biggest things that holds many of us back is our fear of what people think. After all, you don't want people to think you're weird or rude or creepy or obnoxious or annoying, do you? But wait -- think about the most lovable, magnetic people you've come across in your life. Odds are, they weren't the meek, agreeable people who are reliably pleasant to be around. They were the people who were crazy and charming. People who blurted out silly, maybe inappropriate things, or who made huge, slap-your-forehead mistakes, or who were over the top most of the time, but others forgave them for being less than perfect and in fact, liked them for it. So shatter your concern for what people think of you. You're allowed to be less than perfect, and you may find that people like you more for it, because it makes you a more exciting person to be around. Get laughed at, laugh with 'em. Do something you normally wouldn't do for fear of looking like an idiot. Be that idiot. You'll be fine.

2

Know that worst thing that can happen when you try something new is that you might fail. At least you tried and probably learned that it wasn't as scary as you imagined. Knowing that you tried is an accomplishment and realizing that even a failed attempt at something new is a measure of success in that you had the courage to take a risk and made the effort to act and take a leap of faith.

3

Face your fears. There are the big fears, such as heights, spiders, tight spaces, and germs, but there are also hundreds of subtle fears we bow to every day. Like the fear of breaking a bone, or falling down, or getting caught in the rain. What are the precautions you take every day to circumvent "negative" circumstances? And are those circumstances really worth stepping around? Those steps add up! It's good to be proactive, but it's bad to let a significant portion of your life be devoted to averting things that never happen--Little things that could turn into adventures or funny stories if you allow yourself to deal with a little discomfort.

4

Become comfortable with taking risks. Your comfort zone is comfortable because it's where you know what to expect. Going out on a limb can be scary because you might fail. You might lose something. But you might also gain something, huh? In order to become comfortable with that uncertainty, you'll need to practice the following:

• Non-attachment. When you decide to do something, do it for its own sake, not so that you can get a particular result. If you gamble, gamble with money you're ready and willing to lose; gamble for the fun and exhilaration of gambling. If you win, that's icing on the cake! But if you lose, no big deal. In other words, let go of your attachment to a certain outcome; instead, focus on the joy of doing whatever you're doing. Live in the moment.
• Acceptance. When things don't go your way, and they won't, shrug it off. If you're clinging to your comfort zone, you're hanging on to an idea that the world is supposed to be a safe, predictable place, and that's an illusion. You're setting yourself up for frustration and disappointment. Open your eyes. The world is a dynamic place where things go right and wrong. That's just the way it is!

5

Most of the greatest lessons in life are learned by taking risks and living outside of your comfort zone. Knowing that you can't change people, places, or things, but can change the way you respond to these things gives you the confidence and power to accept and engage in this diverse world we live in.

6

Enjoy the unknown. When is the last time you felt excited about not knowing what was going to happen next? If you're deep in your comfort zone, it's probably been a while. Don't you miss it? Don't you miss the mixture of anticipation and anxiety that makes your heart flutter and stomach turn at the same time? Bring that feeling back into your life.

TIPS

• Find or date someone crazy. When you discover that person who brings out the adventurous side from within you, it will help to encourage your development tremendously. These people can be easy to spot and will be found, for example, five miles away from home after packing up only a camera, tent, and food, to go camping in the woods. Spontaneity is a great contrast to someone like yourself who may not be comfortable or familiar with stepping out of your comfort zone often.
• If you're having a hard time stepping out of your comfort zone, start small and build your way up. But keep building your way up.
• Be yourself. Never try to be someone that you're not, be unique. You'll live a much happier life doing this. Also this will make it so that you may only live once, but if you do it right once is enough. And everyone else is already taken. Which is good and everyone one (as long as they're good) is significant and no one is more important than the next. It's either you're good which makes you important or you're bad and makes you a waste of space, oxygen, money and time.

Be as diverse as possible.

• Be yourself and unique. Don't worry about what others think of you. Take risks because you never know how wonderful something could turn out to be!!!
• Sometimes getting out of your comfort zone can require lot of time. Don't panic, be patient and always believe that nothing is impossible.

WARNINGS

• t's good to not know what will happen, to ignore dangers a little bit less and to take risks a little bit more. Just don't ignore dangers too much, always keep yourself safe and do not take risks you will end up regretting in the future!
• Don't do anything that would most likely cause self-harm. Especially when you're at risk of someone else hurting you in any physical way. Might also be a good idea though to know self-defense if this is the case. But don't be scared.
• Don't confuse stepping out of your comfort zone with being reckless and stupid. There's a difference between being reckless and accepting risks. Reckless people don't accept risks-they don't even think about them. You should know the risks, and decide to go through with the decision anyway, ready and willing to accept the consequences if things don't work out.

12 Benefits of Detoxing the Body

Many people don't believe in the power of what a detox can do, so I am sharing 12 benefits I found and believe to be true with regards to detoxing the body.

1. Boosts Your Energy

Many detox program followers report feeling more energetic. This would make sense because while you’re detoxing you’re stopping the influx of the things that caused you to need a detox in the first place. By cutting out the sugar, caffeine, trans fat, saturated fat, and replacing them with fresh fruits and vegetables, you’ll be getting a natural energy boost, one that comes without a resultant crash. It’s vital to stay well hydrated while on any detox program, and that can also be a source of increased energy if you typically don’t get enough water throughout the day.

2. Rids the Body of Any Excess Waste

The biggest thing that detoxing helps with is allowing the body to rid itself of any excess waste it’s been storing. Most detox programs are designed to stimulate the body to purge itself, helping the liver do its thing as well as the kidneys and colon. Cleansing the colon is an important part of the detoxing process because those toxins need to exit the body, and a backed up colon can cause them to be reintroduced into the body, rather than exiting as planned. Sticking with fruits and vegetables even after the detox program is completed is a good way to keep things moving.

3. Helps with Weight Loss

It’s easy to see how a detox diet would cause you to lose weight in the short term, but a healthier way to look at it would be to establish long-term eating habits, and rid yourself of unhealthy habits. Many times it is the drastic reduction in calories and rapid weight loss that is focused on, especially in the media. But these short-term results won’t last if you don’t make it a point to replace bad foods with good, and use your new-found energy to exercise more and be more active overall.

4. Stronger Immune System

When you detox the body you free up your organs to function the way they should. This helps to give your immune system a boost since you’ll be able to absorb nutrients better, including Vitamin C. Many of the herbs you take while on a detox will help the lymphatic system, which plays a big role in keeping you healthy and firing on all cylinders. Many detox programs also focus on light exercises which help to circulate lymph fluid through the body and helps it to drain, strengthening your immune system in the process.

5. Improved Skin

Your skin is your largest organ, so it only makes sense that it would show positive results from a detox program. One way to help your detoxing efforts is to take a sauna to help the body sweat out additional toxins. You can expect clearer, smoother skin at the end of your detox plan. It’s also been reported that detoxing can help with acne, although the condition may worsen before it gets better as the toxins are released. You may find that your skin itches or gets patchy before clearing up, but this is part of the process and is a sign that you’re on the right track with your program.

6. Better Breath

Follow a detox program that includes a colon cleanse because those toxins need to be released from the body. It’s been theorized that one contributor to bad breath is a backed up colon. When you are able to clear it out and get your digestive system functioning well again, you may find that your breath improves. Be aware that your breath may actually worsen during the detoxing process, but when it’s finished it will be better. This is natural, and occurs as toxins are released from the body.

7. Promotes Healthy Changes

It’s hard to change a long-standing habit, and a detox program – no matter how long – is one way to put a wedge between your old ways and your new ones. If you have addictions to sugar, caffeine, fried, or crunchy foods you can use a detox program to help you kill those cravings. Often if you just try to quit eating those foods or drinking those beverages you’ll have limited success, and go back to your old ways. But if you cleanse the body and replace those foods with healthier choices, you can retrain yourself and be more likely to stick to your new habits.

8. Clearer Thinking

A good detox program will pay some attention to your state of mind during the cleanse. The use of meditation is often recommended as a way to get back in touch with your body during this time of purging and cleansing of toxins. Detox followers often say that they lose that sense of fogginess, and are able to think more clearly during a detox than when not on it. It makes sense, since many of the sugar-filled and fat-filled foods that surround us each day will cause us to feel lethargic and can factor heavily in the quality of our thinking.

9. Healthier Hair

By the time you can see your hair, it’s already considered dead, as all of its growth occurs within the hair follicle. This is why it’s important to keep your body functioning at its full potential through a regular detoxing strategy. When your hair is able to grow uninhibited by internal toxins you’ll see and feel the difference in your hair. In many instances hair gets shinier, and feels softer to the touch. Detoxing isn’t enough to stop male pattern baldness, but many report that their hair grows more quickly, a sign of healthier hair.

10. Lighter Feeling

One of the reported benefits of detoxing is a feeling of being lighter. There are several reasons why this would be the case, especially if you’ll be doing a colon cleanse as part of the program. When you stop eating foods that weigh you down, and replace them with fresh organic fruits and vegetables, a lighter feeling is bound to occur. It’s also important not to overeat while detoxing, which will yield a lighter feeling as well, and will give you the energy you’ve been missing.

11. Anti-Aging Benefits

The constant barrage of toxins that the body has to deal with is one contributing factor to the aging process. By reducing the amount of free radical damage done to the body, you’re going to see not only short term benefits, but also long term benefits in an increased longevity. When you finish your detox program, it’s very important not to go right back to the lifestyle that was causing the toxicity. Sticking to a improved diet and getting daily activity are great ways to make sure that you feel good each moment of your life.

12. Improved Sense of Well being

When you detox, you feel good, and when you feel good, good things happen. Detoxing is often used strategically to lose weight or to start a new diet plan, but really there’s no better reason than just to feel better. When you set the stage for well being, you are going to improve all areas of your life, and you should see better relationships, better productivity at work, and a new-found or renewed zest for life.

Girl, get your mind right !

30 days. Restart. Refresh. Reboot. Revive.

I am opening up a chapter of my life with you and hopefully it may help someone else too. For the month of August I'm working on a 30 day reboot to a better me. The purpose of this reboot is because it's much needed and to allow these 30 days or so to reassure myself of many things and to revive what has died within. NO negativity. NO distractions. NO excuses.

30 days includes focusing on all these things/ideas and much more. Better eating. Back to fitness. Finding faith. Trusting solely in God. Praying more. Meditation. Trying yoga. Exploring new things. Loving myself a bit more daily. Drinking more water, less alcohol. Disconnecting from the world to reconnect with myself (meaning no social media for the period of this life connection). So along this journey I am going to try and share as much as I can with you. Whether it's a recipe, a new venture, a passage, words of encouragement, an exercise regimen, a detox or a new book. 

I am doing a 30 day reset because I really need one. I am not feeling my best lately. I am feeling a bit run down, stressed and extremely tired. Most days I struggle to get out of bed for work. 

The 30 days is set up so that I can focus solely on the spirit within along with mental clarity and much more. Sometimes we all need a little reset button on life for a few days or weeks. We sometimes get so caught up with social media, other people's business, other people's needs and wants that we disconnect from ourselves by connecting and being fueled off others. So if that means not responding to texts from specific people who drain most of your time or energy, or serve no purpose towards the bettering of yourself, then so be it. 

So if you have moved, relocated, lost faith, need inner peace, mental clarity, get back on track, love yourself more, focus more on yourself than by any means join in.

"You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Fools stand on their island of opportunities and look toward another land. There is no other land; there is no other life but this." - Henry David Thoreau