Growing through Grief

I've learned that grief is a process, not an event. There is no instant fix to suffering. There are no words for times like this or the moments one experiences. Neither pretty nor subtle words can ease your pain, take away the origin of what you suffer. Every loss is different. Grief is hard work and there is no blueprint or timeline that works the same for everyone. We all approach, handle and express grief differently. Some days will be harder than others. Some days you will feel as if you're barely existing. The one thing I am continuing to learn daily is to be patient with myself. 

Most of our pain comes from wishing things were different. That our lives didn't have to change from the pain. In grief, there may be many days when we feel devastated, preoccupied, empty and, yet, filled with loneliness. Other days may be a bit brighter, and it feels possible to grow from grief even though we know that growth may take time. Growth is rarely easy and almost always brings with it at least some measure of pain.  

When we are in midst of grief, the very idea that we can grow through this devastating reality seems so unacceptable, it seems unreal, and unattainable. We have no choice about loss. We have no choice about the grief that ensues. However we do have one choice within our grief. Grief will change us ... whether we want it to or not. Things will never be the same. We will never be the same. The choice we have is not whether we will change—but how we choose to change. We can choose to grow up or grow down. ✨

"There is no pain so great as the memory of joy in present grief." 

"Tears are the silent language of grief." 

"Happiness is beneficial for the body, but it is grief that develops the powers of the mind." "There is no grief like the grief that does not speak."

🕊 We can have all the time in the world with people and sometimes it’s never enough and sometimes we aren’t given enough time for people to show us the world ... 🌹 in grief, there is no stage called closure. Little by little we let go of loss BUT NEVER let go of love 💕 We’re never ready to let go. I read something that said “life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.” Because we often look at death as the opposite of life instead of apart of it. This thing we live called life is nothing but a brief intermission between life and death. I’m happy he uses me asmouthpiece from time to time. I’m dying inside to get there now instead of later. But praying my words to others suffice ✨💙

💘 Love Isn't Complicated ...

 

​​It may be safe to say that no one has ever loved anyone the way that person wanted to be loved. We just have to accept the fact that some people are going to stay in our hearts even if they don’t stay in our lives. ​Love isn't complicated, people are. ​People make love more complicated than it should be. Love should be easy and fun. If you are loved and love someone, I see no reason why you should​n'​t be happy. ​{Alexa play Mary J. Blige "Be Happy"} ​I think that every female has been in a ​position​ where she has liked someone, but isn't sure as to whether or not he likes her as much as he may say he does. So, her mind tells her to step back and see if he will​ seek​ her. Sometimes it works in love and sometimes it doesn't.

The truth of the matter is - when someone wants to be with you ... you'll know! ​They​ will make sure you are aware of ​their ​intentions and ​their​ interest​edness​ for you AND ONLY YOU! ​Th​e​y​ will put in the effort and it won't go ​overlooked​. There are no games, no drama, no stress/pressure. I promise you that it is SO simple; people make it complicated. We are all guilty of going after people that are wrong for us, trying to make those people THE ONE, allowing ​ourselves to be stringed along because it feels right in the moment but in your heart it feels so wrong. Sometimes it's hard to walk away ... but always remember your worth. Always find the courage to get up and leave the table if respect is no longer being served! ​There's never anything wrong with having to eat alone for a while. ​Too often many of us waste our time with ​human beings​ who aren't sure whether we are the right one for them and one thing we can not get back is time, so why waste it! Relationships really aren't that complicated. ​People ​make them that way! Real love is simple. Real relationships are simple. When you’ve only had that complicated kind of love, when that’s the only kind of relationship you’ve ever known, you won’t know the difference until you’ve experienced a different kind of love - the real kind.

It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return {LIKE HELL - Alexa play Whitney Houston Why Does It Hurt So Bad} but what is most ​hurtful is to love someone and never find the courage to let the person know how you feel. A lot of times when we are in a relationship we love, we go through the ​unacceptable​, knowing that the ​acceptable​ that we get out of the relationship greatly outweighs anything else. Love is the easiest thing there is. Again I repeat ... Real love is simple. Real relationships are simple.​ Love isn't complicated ... people are!​ It’s the layers of doubt, fear, and expectation that make it complicated and the heart has reasons that reason does not understand. Always remember that the game of love and the people who play it is complicated, but love itself is not complicated. 💘

 

** Love is never complicated. Ever.​ **​​

✨ Healing ✨

2020 has taught me two things; 1. Healing is necessary and 2. How healing is a lifelong journey. Healing is not a destination or a one-stop shop. It indeed is a process that we must experience and endure with elegance, compassion, self-love, and above all else … humility. As one layer is uncovered in the process, then addressed and healed, another is almost immediately to appear, requesting for the attention of its owner – self. Life is always happening and that unfortunately is something we cannot control. It is an inevitable cycle of circumstances, connections, letdowns, accomplishments, and more. Despite experiencing many levels of healing, stemming from childhood and adolescent wounds, I realized as life continues to unfold itself in its peculiar ways, so do the inner layers within which need healing.

As humans we have a vulnerable soul, we have a heart filled with emotions, we have a mind loaded with thoughts, we have a body that serves to survive yet we have pain, which is oozing to be felt, we have scars that we are expecting to fade away and we have wounds which are patiently waiting to be healed. One thing I have learned is that it is important to know what you are wanting to heal from. It’s essential to acknowledge the heart breaks, grief, losses, and disappointments of your past in order to make progress.

One cannot heal without being able to find comfort. So often we suffer in silence because we struggle to recognize that our comfort zone is an unhealthy place for us to be in and fail to recognize that our pain is the center cushion in the comfort zone. Being honest and I mean brutally honest is the key element in the journey of healing. It took me awhile to be realistic with myself and it hurt, but I was able to understand and see the things as well as people that were beneficial for me and those that were damaging. Being honest with oneself takes being willing to get out of one’s feelings, one’s personal space and comfort zone in order to take risks. I never understood how important exposure was until now. I have been fortunate enough to be exposed to other environments and people and that have allowed me to see a purpose larger than the box I was socialized to be in. Sometimes we have experienced so much toxicity in our lives that it does not go away. But never allow those difficult experiences to hinder your growth or purpose.

“You cannot think you can heal from any pain, while you avoid it.”

Healing should not be viewed as a destination …  It is dangerous when we do so. You must start to view and discuss healing as a journey. It’s like how our bodies work …  We get hurt, we lose blood, the wound swells, we feel pain, then, the bleeding stops, the swelling reduces, the pain declines but the marks stay, etc. Same is how our soul works, yet it is more sensitive, but it heals by recognition, recovery of the memories, acceptance of the disappointments, tears for the defeat, remorse over the actions, and feeling whatever emotions you’re getting in your head and allowing it to be your remedy.

But unlike our bodies our soul does not come with a clock, we all vary and so does our time of healing. There is no timeline for healing. It may take days, it may take weeks, it may take months, it may take years, it may come back when any memory hits you again, it may come back no matter how far you have come or how much time have passed! And it pretty much sucks to be standing at the same point you thought you had moved away from and that is how it actually works; and we cannot remove it from our lives. The bruises that are physical are less harmful than the spiritual ones. It’s going to be hard, but eventually and slowly but surely, with the help of faith, no matter how grave the wound, it will be filled, no matter how long it takes, you will be Healed. And healing comes with a price, but it surely will be worth it. 💕

There Is No Right Time

Timing may not be everything. But it is something. We can never time things precisely without luck or faith and for the most part, timing is out of our hands. There will always be other aspects and other people involved. There is no "right time" for love, success, happiness, etc. And this is not because the right time does not actually exist because trust me it certainly does. But we will not know when it is right until we get to it.

We will always be shooting in the dark and only recognizing how precise timing was after the fact. Things will never be exactly the way you want them to be. No matter the subject, nothing will ever be perfect. What is perfect anyways? In life, things will never be perfect. 

Happiness is indefinable because circumstances in life are ever-changing. Happiness shows a difference from previous, sadder times. Happiness means that you have experienced a positive difference in your life and at ease with your life now and/or where it is heading. What we need to be happy is just one thing to be happy about. Often, we have to remind ourselves of the time in our lives when we did not have that one thing. Sometimes that one thing can mean everything!

 If you fully, truly want to be in a relationship with a person, it is always the right time. When it’s right, you find ways to work through the madness, sorrow, old pain, and exhaustion {excuses} of fitting potential newfound love into your life together. Everyone is different. We love differently and fully. We grieve differently. We hurt differently. But we are capable to love even when we are hurt! We all have loved someone with everything we had, and in the end, it just was not enough but don’t let it hinder new beginnings. Find someone who makes you feel excitement and gives you a passion that results in a burning fire and strength that is found behind their laughter. When you find that person who brings out the fire in you, don’t run from the feeling based on “timing.”

I have now matured enough, where I have learned to only look at someone as who they are are/becoming without labeling them. There is no right/wrong time... it’s always the right time to tell someone you’re attracted to them, or you care about them, if you truly mean it. Just like it’s always the RIGHT time when something good happens, regardless of if it happened by accident or it happened intentionally. Loving others is good.  It’s always the right time when someone makes an effort to love someone else. I always say, “People make time for who and what they want to make time for. Simple as that.” 

Some things just are supposed to happen naturally. But when is the right time to love? I think it’s always the right time, if you find the right person... Remember, there is no “right” time to fall in love with someone, so love deeply and fully and with no restrictions.

 

💗💗 Forgiveness Is Not A Feeling 💗💗

Forgiveness: noun: forgiveness; plural noun: forgiveness’s

the action or process of forgiving or being forgiven.

Often, we are told that fear is powerful enough to keep us from attaining our goals and living our best lives. But it's not always fears ... sometimes a thing that holds us back is forgiveness. This morning's message during service was titled "Let's Straighten it Out" in which the Pastor spoke about forgiveness. Many people say that they can't forgive because they don't feel it. Huh? What is it about forgiveness that we must feel? For a long time, it’s how my mind operated and during service Pastor said something that struck a nerve and made me say “WOW!” His words were:  

FORGIVENESS IS NOT A FEELING.  FORGIVENESS IS A PROMISE!

Think about it as such ... it's like trusting God or waking up in the morning. God wants both of these for us no matter how we feel, and he wants forgiveness in the same way. After all, hasn't HE forgiven us (and continues to daily at that) and we probably haven't earned it either. 

A wrongful perspective that many of us have about forgiveness is that forgiveness looks too much like letting people off when in fact it is not! But sometimes if letting people off is the price that we pay for having peaceful co-existence then so be it. We imagine that getting even is an end to it. But often it only formulates the ground for a new set of resentments, and so the wheel of anger, bitter and violence just keeps on spinning. Forgiving others who have harmed us is one of the most important things we will ever do.

“Our happiness, or lack of it, rises and falls on whether we choose to forgive.”

We struggle to forgive because of the misconceptions that we have about forgiveness. 

What forgiveness is and what it entails is: 

• Choosing to stop nourishing the anger and resentment toward the person who hurt you but letting out your hurt in a positive way.
• Letting all judgments toward the person who has hurt you be handled by God.
• Actually, getting to the place where you can say to the person who harmed you, I wish for you a blessing on your life.
• Giving up your rights to get even.
• NOT USING THE PAST AGAINST THEM ONCE YOU HAVE CHOSEN TO FORGIVE!

In that same token let’s also be clear that forgiveness can be many different things to many different people but let me tell you WHAT forgiveness is NOT: 

• To forgive is to excuse or ignore the other person's actions. 

If you could reason to justify the behavior of the person who hurt you, then damn it forgiveness is not necessary. 

• Forgiveness will fix the relationship between you and the person who hurt you. 

LIES!!!! Forgiveness doesn't inevitably heal anything ... Just because you forgive someone, doesn’t mean you have to trust that person again. ‘Forgiveness is a gift we give to others. Trust is something that is earned.’

• To forgive, I must feel forgiving. 

There go them damn feelings again! We let our emotional state dictate just about everything we do. Many things in life we must do as an act of our will. IF we act right, our feelings will follow. Again ... "Forgiveness is NOT a feeling. Forgiveness is a promise!"

• Once we forgive someone, they have the same rights and privileges they had before the situation occurred. Forgiveness will make everything be the same again!!! 

The reality is, even if you choose to forgive someone, and the relationship is healing, things still will never be the same again. 

• Forgiveness makes the person who is doing the forgiving weak.
• To forgive is to forget.

Let me repeat this for the people in the back ……

TO FORGIVE ... IS NOT TO FORGET!!!!! 

 Nowhere in the Bible does God tell us to FORGIVE & FORGET ... God just tells us to forgive. Forgiving others does not remove the memory of them violating you, hurting you, disrespecting you, lying on you, cheating on you or any of the above. It is because we remember that the need for forgiveness is real. (SO REAL) I can admit to being someone who struggles with forgiveness because my thought of it was, well how can I forgive if I can't forget? But the ugly reality that I am learning is when we choose to forgive someone we are not saying that we weren’t hurt or that you will ever forget that hurt because indeed it did happen; and the reality is that we can forgive, even if we still remember. But with forgiveness and time, that hurt will disappear. Forgiveness is not forgetting, avoiding, or excusing what has happened. You don’t have to feel forgiving to forgive someone and just because we choose to forgive someone, it doesn’t mean we won’t ever get upset and have to make the choice to forgive them again. BUT LET ME BE CLEAR … It also doesn’t mean our relationships must go back the way it was and sometimes the relationships are left just with that; forgiveness. Just because we learn forgiveness doesn't mean we have to allow the other person back into our lives to do things all over again. Learn to forgive, then move on. In spite of all these things we must forgive, and no one ever said that forgiving others is easy. BECAUSE IT IS NOT!!! Someone once said, “Not to forgive imprisons me in the past and locks out all potential for change. I thus yield control to another, my enemy, and doom myself to suffer the consequences of the wrong.” 

 

Forgiveness has incredible power.

The spirit of un-forgiveness and bitterness toward those who have hurt us is toxic to our soul and destroys any chance for a life of peace and happiness. One thing that comes with being unable to forgive others is we eventually build a wall and the problem with that is when you build a wall, no one gets in, but you do not get out either. Thus, you miss all that’s going on around you, all because you can’t let something go. So many of us are afraid to forgive because we are worried as to who or what we will be without the hate, unforgiveness, anger, and hostility in our lives. Some of us live our whole lives surrounded with unforgiveness, hatred, anger, resentment, and bitterness, so much so that we can't see or be anything else. Don’t let yourself become emotionally and spiritually exhausted by refusing to forgive. Remember: ‘Forgiveness is a promise, not a feeling’. We must choose to forgive, then we must practice it. The lives we live, our losses, our wins, etc. is what makes us who we are. The experiences we have had develops us into who we are now and/or who we are yet to become. But, to be the best at being us, we need to allow the anger, bitter, hate and unforgiveness to go. It is a silent killer. Stress, depression, stroke, etc. all caused by unforgiveness. To truly live, we must allow the process of unforgiveness to start. Being able to forgive is one of the strongest assets we possess. It will always prove that we are stronger than the person who hurt us.

 

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
Mahatma Gandhi

Reason. Season. Lifetime.

As I think back on the relationships I’ve had in my life, I can say that for many of them I feel blessed. Blessed to have experienced them. Blessed for the pain they have caused. Blessed for the lessons they have taught me. Blessed for how some have broken me down but even more for how some have helped build me up! I’ve had work relationships that were for a reason. I’ve had ex’s and friendships that were for a season.

… And I have people in my life now that I pray are here for eternity.

I had to learn, and I am still learning to see each relationship as not so much a distressing loss, but this experience that I was fortunate to have in the first place.

No one likes to think of any relationship as temporary, but the truth is… people enter our lives for a reason, season, or a lifetime. When we try to force relationships beyond their purpose, we often end up upset.

Someone once told me “People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.”

REASON

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a necessity you or they have prayed for. God often sends someone to assist us through a difficulty, to provide us with direction and support, to support us physically, emotionally, and/or spiritually. They are there only for the reason God needs them to be or vice versa. And often at times without any offense, the relationship will come to a close; sometimes we grow apart, sometimes one of us will walk away, sometimes people die, sometimes God completely removes them from our lives, sometimes they act a fool and you have to do what you have to do and take a stand. Sometimes what we fail to realize immediately from our “reasons” is that our requirements have been met, our desires have been satisfied; and now it is time to move on!

SEASON

Sometimes we find ourselves in difficult seasons. Trust me when I say, I think this has been the most difficult season after season I have experienced but I know deep down inside something “greater” will come from it all. For those who know and believe the word of God, then you have always heard that … It’s been said that we’re always in at least one of three seasons of life:

1.       We’re in the middle of something.

2.       We’re about to be in something.

3.       We just got out of something.

That “something” is usually a difficult season in our lives. It’s never really a matter of “will” we have a difficult season, it’s a matter of “when.”

When people come into our lives for a SEASON . . . It’s usually to help us grow, or to teach us a lesson. They may teach us something we may have never learned or have never done, had it not been for this specific season. Many will say that seasons bring eye opening understandings. They usually give you a new outlook on life.

Whenever you find yourself going through a tough season, remember God is not necessarily punishing you. Sometimes He must allow us to grow and learn through our poor choices in order for us to grow closer to Him. It may hurt or feel as though the pain will never stop. But remember, it’s only for a season. How long your season lasts solely depends on how long it takes us to learn!

LIFETIME

It’s been said that LIFETIME relationships teach us the most valuable thing of all times … lifetime lessons! They are often considered a gift from God so we must learn to cherish them. These are the relationships that we are blessed to have until one of you take your last breath. (Family, friends, your spouse. etc.) Don’t get me wrong they aren’t always going to be easy. All relationships take effort on both parts. Someday's you will probably feel like the relationship is not worth the effort that you put forth. Other days you will feel thankful that God has placed them in your life, wonder why He took so long, and hope that they will be around forever. It is said that love is blind, but friendship is clairvoyant. So, think about all the people who have entered, exited, been booted, God removed, passed away, or just disappeared over the years … Whether they were there for a reason, a season or a lifetime, accept them and treasure them for however long they were meant to be part of your journey. Or as Dr. Seuss once wrote: “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.”

NEW YEAR ... DO YOU !!!

New Year New Me

A phrase said by people who don't realize that change happens when you make or someone else makes it happen, not when time passes.

This year is going to be the one when you put your own needs first, when you honor where you are no matter what, and when you identify the importance of self-awareness and what love looks like from the inside out.

I promise you that one thing I started to learn more and more every day is that nobody owes you shit. NOBODY. You owe yourself any and everything that you feel you truly deserve. For many years I downplayed myself. Downplayed my talents, my skills, and everything that was within me so that I wouldn’t outshine a coworker, friend, family member etc. In 2017 my brother was murdered and even though he had his troubles in the past, what I always knew was that he was my biggest supporter in anything I wanted to do. I could tell him I want to jump off the bridge and he would ask me if I have a game plan executed so it’s done properly. (bad analogy I know right) But to be honest, I remember when I got into fitness and thought it would be a hobby and it wouldn’t become nothing. My brother would always tell me it would become whatever you want it to become and he became the reason why I studied for certification to become a Certified Personal Trainer. My brother was great at everything!!!  I felt it was nothing he couldn’t do. He could build playgrounds, put a power wheel together in 20 minutes, and draw his ass off. When he was locked up, I would send him books to fuel his mind so that the walls wouldn’t consume his mind, and in return he would send me books that I would never read. Losing him put a void in my heart but it also reignited a lot of talents that I dumbed down for years. Talents that he fueled, and I didn’t.  Sometimes we deny ourselves our own happiness and it sounds crazy but it’s true. By dimming our lights for fear of how others may feel. By dimming our lights in fear of being greater than someone else. Or just by dimming our lights for fear of how bright we will shine. 

In 2020 … don’t dim yourself anymore, don’t downplay yourself, don’t be less than, don’t be afraid to shine! We all would love for people to love us and celebrate us in every single way, and many won’t. But as a friend, all we ask is that you are supportive and what I have learned is that not everyone will support and love you like you love them. I love and support mine hard, and everyone doesn’t have to see or understand your vision but just be encouraging.

So, no New Year, New Me …. Because resolution sounds strong, finite, and intimidating and often we fear those things … so to 2020 New Year, DO YOU and with pure intentions! To be able to keep a resolution, you also need to let it go … let go of any obstructive energy you might feel, such as frustration, pressure, or expectation. When satisfying a New Year’s commitment, all you can do is keep moving forward and put in the necessary time and effort. Even if you feel like you’re not achieving enough or going fast enough, do as Fredheim says and “trust the process.”

2020 is going to be all about setting ourselves up for emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical success. In order to do such greatness …  I'll share some ideas for a great 2020 💜💛💙

Make self-care a priority.

Self-care isn’t just one thing, IT IS EVERYTHING … and it’s not the same thing to everyone. Self-care means taking time to focus on things that contribute to your well being. Self-care can be taking a bath, going to the doctor or therapy, scheduling thirty minutes for yourself to read at night, or simply saying NO!

Breathe.

When you feel yourself getting worried or anxious, try taking a long inhale in through your nose, and out through your mouth. Even taking a few deep breaths throughout your day can help you relax and find more presence and peace, especially in tough situations.

Practice gratitude.

Gratitude is the attitude! There’s always something to be grateful for — waking up, a house (even if it is not a home YET), a job, the sunshine, fresh air (even if it’s snowing, raining or gloomy), friends, family. Instead of counting all the things that go wrong, count all the way things go right and watch things transform. Difficulties turn into opportunities and abundance becomes the name of the game. By focusing on what we have, we get more of that back from the universe!

 

Record the good, the bad, and the ugly.

One thing I have learned? The importance of writing things down. Writing things down feels good and it can help us get things out of our head so we can see the world from a clearer perspective. A journal can change your life.

Utilize mantras.

If you’re looking to fill your life with some more positivity, or just a reminder of how DOPE you are, you can try using mantras. Try making up your own mantras based on what you need at the moment. You can write these on paper and tape them on your mirror, then speak them to yourself each day. Repeat your mantra to yourself at least three times, or whenever you need a reminder of how FCKN DOPE you are. Switch them up and see what resonates and works best for you. My mantra for 2020 so far is ….

Surround yourself with things that make you happy.

If it doesn’t serve you, let it go. Repeat after me and then repeat it again:

If it doesn’t serve you, let it go.

Whatever it may be: FRIENDS, FAMILY MEMBERS, BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND, HUSBAND/WIFE, THE JOB YOU HATE, THE CLOTHES THAT DON’T FIT BUT YOU STILL SQUEEZE INTO …. DAMN IT LET IT GO!!!! Life is too short and way too uncertain to spend it surrounded by things that drain you. Surrounding yourself with people who fulfill you and not deplete you is vital.

2020 is going to be all about setting ourselves up for emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical success!!! Last but not least don’t forget to Be Kind to Yourself <3 … So, speak (and think) kindly to yourself and care for your body and environment.

 

New Year ... New Views !!! Cheers to 2020

𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙢𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙙 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚, 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙜𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙣 𝙤𝙥𝙥𝙤𝙧𝙩𝙪𝙣𝙞𝙩𝙮 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙚𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛. 2019 MAAAAY 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙚𝙣 𝙖 𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝 𝙮𝙚𝙖𝙧 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙢𝙖𝙣𝙮 𝙤𝙛 𝙪𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙜𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙮𝙚𝙖𝙧 𝙞𝙨𝙣’𝙩 𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙮𝙚𝙩 𝙬𝙚 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙢𝙖𝙙𝙚 𝙞𝙩. 𝙁𝙤𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙤𝙨𝙩 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙬𝙚 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙢𝙖𝙙𝙚 𝙞𝙩. P𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙡 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙨; 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙠𝙪𝙥𝙨, 𝙟𝙤𝙗 𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙨𝙚𝙨, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙙𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝 𝙤𝙛 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙙 𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙨; 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙖𝙙𝙙 𝙛𝙪𝙚𝙡 𝙩𝙤 𝙖 𝙣𝙤𝙩-𝙜𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩 12 𝙢𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙝𝙨. 𝘽𝙪𝙩 𝙗𝙚𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙚 2019 𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙤𝙭𝙞𝙘 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙢𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚. L𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙨𝙤𝙘𝙞𝙖𝙡 𝙢𝙚𝙙𝙞𝙖, 𝙗𝙖𝙙 𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙨, single-minded 𝙧𝙤𝙢𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙘 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙣𝙚𝙧𝙨, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙪𝙣𝙖𝙫𝙖𝙞𝙡𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚 𝙘𝙧𝙪𝙨𝙝𝙚𝙨/𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙨/𝙛𝙖𝙢𝙞𝙡𝙮 𝙚𝙩𝙘. L𝙚𝙩’𝙨 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙧𝙤𝙤𝙢 𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙚𝙭𝙘𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙣𝙚𝙬 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙙 𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙬𝙖𝙮 𝙞𝙣 2020. 𝙏𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙨𝙪𝙘𝙝 𝙖𝙨 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚, 𝙣𝙚𝙬 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚, 𝙣𝙚𝙬 𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙥𝙨, 𝙗𝙪𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙫𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙚𝙨, 𝙟𝙤𝙗 𝙤𝙥𝙥𝙤𝙧𝙩𝙪𝙣𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙚𝙨, 𝙙𝙞𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙨𝙤𝙘𝙞𝙖𝙡 𝙘𝙞𝙧𝙘𝙡𝙚𝙨, 𝙚𝙩𝙘. 

As the old Marie Kondo adage goes, 'when you get rid of old clothes (and bad habits), i.e., the stuff that no longer fits right, no longer feels good, and no longer meshes with who you are today, you give yourself permission to open up space for the stuff that fits better.'

G𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙪𝙥 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 divert 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙜𝙤𝙖𝙡𝙨. 𝙄𝙣𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙤𝙛 𝙖𝙙𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚, 𝙩𝙧𝙮 𝙧𝙚𝙢𝙤𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙣𝙚𝙜𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙝𝙤𝙡𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠.

𝙍𝙚𝙢𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙀𝙭𝙘𝙪𝙨𝙚𝙨. 𝙍𝙚𝙢𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙞𝙨𝙢. 𝙍𝙚𝙢𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙁𝙚𝙖𝙧. 𝙍𝙚𝙢𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙉𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙏𝙤 𝘾𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙡 𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜. 𝙍𝙚𝙢𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝘼 𝙁𝙞𝙭𝙚𝙙 𝙈𝙞𝙣𝙙𝙨𝙚𝙩. 𝙍𝙚𝙢𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙏𝙤𝙭𝙞𝙘 𝙋𝙚𝙤𝙥𝙡𝙚. 𝙍𝙚𝙢𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙉𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙏𝙤 𝙎𝙖𝙮 𝙔𝙚𝙨 (𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙍𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙒𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙏𝙤 𝙎𝙖𝙮 𝙉𝙤).

𝘾𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚𝙨 𝙖 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜, 𝙚𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙞𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪'𝙫𝙚 𝙜𝙤𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙣 𝙩𝙤𝙤 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙩𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙙 𝙜𝙧𝙤𝙬𝙞𝙣𝙜. 𝙒𝙚 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙣𝙖𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙜𝙚𝙩 self-satisfied 𝙞𝙣 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚, 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙟𝙤𝙗𝙨, 𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙚𝙨, 𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙥𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙞𝙩𝙪𝙙𝙚𝙨. 𝘿𝙤𝙣 𝙩 𝙨𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙖 so-so 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚, 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙡𝙮 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪’𝙫𝙚 𝙜𝙤𝙩.

2 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙄’𝙫𝙚 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙚𝙙 𝙞𝙣 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙥𝙚𝙤𝙥𝙡𝙚 …

1) 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙤𝙣𝙚’𝙨 𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙚, 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙤𝙛 𝙟𝙤𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙧𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙚𝙛.

2) 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙧𝙤𝙣𝙜 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙤𝙣 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙖 𝙨𝙤𝙧𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙚𝙢𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙡 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙛𝙡𝙞𝙘𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙙𝙖𝙢𝙖𝙜𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙤𝙪𝙡.

M𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙥𝙚𝙧 𝙙𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙥𝙪𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛 𝙘𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙥𝙚𝙖𝙘𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙟𝙤𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙙𝙚𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙚 𝙙𝙪𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙤𝙣 𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙝. S𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚𝙨 𝙖 𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙨 𝙞𝙨 𝙖 𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣. S𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙩 𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙣’𝙩 𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙨𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙩 𝙖𝙡𝙡. B𝙚𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙤𝙣, 𝙨𝙪𝙧𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙙 𝙗𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙥𝙚𝙤𝙥𝙡𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 I’𝙫𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙞𝙫𝙚𝙙 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙚𝙣𝙙, 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚’𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙬𝙧𝙤𝙣𝙜 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙗𝙚𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙞𝙛 𝙞𝙩 𝙢𝙚𝙖𝙣𝙨 𝙗𝙚𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙘𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙤 𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙞𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨. 𝙄 𝙥𝙧𝙖𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙝𝙤𝙥𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙜𝙩𝙝 𝙩𝙤 𝙡𝙚𝙩 𝙜𝙤 𝙤𝙛 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙣𝙤 𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙧 𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙚 𝙖 𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙥𝙪𝙧𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙞𝙧 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚.

🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻

The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for. 

-Bob Marley 💚💙💛💜💓💙💚💛💜

🦄 𝐿𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝒾𝓈 𝐿𝑜𝓋𝑒 ... 𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓃 𝒾𝒻 𝒾𝓉 𝒾𝓈 𝒻𝓇𝑜𝓂 𝒶 𝒹𝒾𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓃𝒸𝑒. 🦄

𝐻𝑒𝓇𝑒’𝓈 𝓉𝑜 2020 🌟🌻🌻