Does it really matter???
Why are numbers such a big deal? Why do we think they reveal something about us people? Yes, maybe a higher number suggests a more open attitude toward sex and a lower number suggests being more selective, but I don't even like thinking about it in terms of a higher or lower because, well higher and lower in relation to what?
Also, a specific number isn't that telling at all. Say you are 25 years old and have been sexually active since you were 15, and your number is 20. This could mean you've never had a serious relationship, but despite being single you've only sex with two people a year, which eventually added up to 20. Or it could mean you've been a monogamous relationship for 9 years, but that one year you were single you had a hell of a Full Moon party on your trip to Miami. Those are two very different attitude towards sex. Everyone's history and their relationship with sex is individual. I've had friends that have only had sex with one person and they're some of the horniest bitches I know, others have had sex with way into the double digits but now their sex drives have slowed down and they have very little interest in sex. A number isn't going to tell you very much.
the only reason numbers are taboo or controversial is because we act like they should be. I have lots of friends, especially women, who have either evaded or outright lied when it comes to discussing how many sexual partners they've had. And a lot of people, especially men, ignore or don't want to imagine their current partner has had sex with anyone but them, or at least that she only did it with serious boyfriends.
Given all the differences in the way men and women view sex and relationships and communication: What are the rules about disclosing your number of sexual partners and should it matter? The average number of partners a man purports to have in a lifetime is around 11. The average number of partners a woman purports to have is closer to 6. Of course, this is not true.
And as far as I’m concerned it is NOBODY’S BUSINESS HOW MANY PEOPLE YOU’VE SLEPT WITH. Similarly, it’s none of your business how many people he’s slept with. This is a classic “don’t ask, don’t tell” situation, on par with “Are you dating anyone else right now?” Before you jump all over me, this is not the same as “Do you have any STDs?” That is a pointed and specific health-related question, where full disclosure is essential. Thus, a man has no right to know your number, lest he judge you by a different standard than he judges himself. If he insists, give him a little white lie. It’s none of his business and he doesn’t deserve the truth. Seriously. As long as you’re not sleeping with anyone while you’re dating him, whatever you did in your past is between you and your conscience. So honestly speaking, it’s not that numbers don’t matter. It’s that they can be deceiving. Questions about numbers only beget more questions and create more insecurity. The only thing you need to know about his sexual past is whether he’s disease free.
Do you care how many people your partner has slept with? In a world of growing sexual promiscuity, the days where girls could count the number of their sexual partners on one hand is long gone. The idea that there is an acceptable amount of people a woman can sleep with in her life needs to become a notion of the past. Want to know what the “acceptable” number actually is? It’s whatever amount of people a person feels comfortable sleeping with. NEWSFLASH: it is a personal choice.
“Do not judge or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”
Why do people lie about their number? Is it for the fear of being judged? Well, f*cking duh. But who are we to pass such harsh judgment onto others? Why even ask the question in the first place? Almost all people, regardless of gender, are going to lie. Men exaggerate it while women downplay it. Like “American Pie” taught us, when a girl tells you her number, multiply it by three and when a guy tells you his number, divide it by three. I hope this isn’t true for everyone because I’d be f*cked, and not in a good way. (no judgement zone here guys). Who cares if you banged 5 people or 50? Your personality and quirks still remain the same.
“Do not be afraid of exploring your sexuality, fantasies and desires. Embrace them. Love them. Make them yours. They are a part of who you are.”
The double standard is alive and well, but it needs to be eradicated. It’s bullsh*t that a man can receive praise for banging out any girl he can get his hands on, but if a girl does the same, she is labeled a slut. The ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ approach is the way to go. There are many things that are better left unsaid and this is one of them.
“If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.”
Why should a person’s sexual past carry such a stigma that they become reluctant to reveal that number to anyone who asks? Your number reflects your past…what happened to living in the moment? The past is behind you and if you reflect on it, it’s only going to haunt you. There is no reason to dwell on past lovers if they bear no relevance to your present situation.
Everyone has a past and there is a reason it has not transcended into your future. Let your past be your past, people! Don’t drag that sh*t into your current relationship that only creates unnecessary problems.
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