Is it wrong to have male friends if you have a boyfriend?
So this morning at 4 AM, I received a text message asking me to discuss this on my blog and often many of my topics come from females but surprisingly this one came from a male. I thought to myself it was a truly interesting topic, but my opinion definitely won't be the same as others. Girls mentality are different from a guy's mentality, because females are the trophy winners of placing guys in the friend zone without a doubt of it being anything more than just that. As a man in a relationship, if you feel threatened by the presence of a male friend does it mean you have some insecurities? I was told that guys don't "friend zone" females, either they fucking or not. Nothing more and nothing less. I disagree but we won't go there.
Every one is entitled to their opinion on the subject. Now we are all subjective to feel the way we choose to feel about a situation, but remember one's situation isn't always the same as the next person's situation. Sometimes building trust doesn't give folks a green light to fuck later. Cause often that trust and comfort can also be what continues to keep a dude in the friend zone. But again, I can't speak on every one's situation. Just what I know from experience. Most females keep them around for different reasons; to be a friend and a friend only. Some are kept as a backup. Some for convenience. Some turn into true confidants. But it's not always as a "if my man acts up we going to fuck and I got a back up plan" type of situation which is normally the case with guys and their female friends.
So as I text the homie Jay this afternoon about this topic he tells me "it's good to always have a spare" and I thought to myself is this how 90% of men look at it. When men are in relationships, do they keep in contact with the girl who they sidelined just in case? According to Jay he said YES and not for a backup but to keep in touch. (I felt that was bullshit) but then again it's just my opinion.
So is it wrong? Personally, I feel not at all. Having a boyfriend/girlfriend, or a spouse for that matter, does not mean that you should lose your individuality and social life. As long as you don't do things that will make your partner unhappy or concerned. It's a thin line between every action we take. Having friends is never wrong. Where it might become difficult is when your significant other expresses an unrealistic concern - although it's more likely to do with their own insecurity, and not a "I trust you not him" kind of situation which they will insist is the real reason. Just for the record, as much as boys don't want their girlfriends' having male friends; girls don't want their boyfriends having female friends either.
As her boyfriend you should be one of her closest friends - if not the closest - but that doesn't mean you should be her only male friend. Men typically feel threatened when they are dating a woman with a slew of male friends, but often there is nothing to worry about. How many is too many guy friends anyways? Have you ever thought of the reasons why she has so many male friends than female friends? Tomboy growing up? Only girl with several brothers? More into sports than manicures and makeup? All I am saying is don't ever expect her to stop being friends with these men because you ask her to in the midst of a relationship, that could be grounds for a breakup. In the beginning of the relationship ask her about her male friends, how they became friends, how long they been friends. etc. and that will give you a better understanding of many things.
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