fake busy

Let's talk about fake busy ... I hate to hear people tell me "I was busy all day and it didn't cross my mind, or I didn't have time" one word for this BULLSHIT ... now mind you there aren't any other words for this besides BULLSHIT !!! 

I am constantly telling folks, "people make time for who and what they want to make time for" case scenario: before I moved down south, I worked a full time job varying from 8-12 hour days, would hit the gym around 5am for a workout, 3 days out the week pick my niece up from daycare if need be, and was a personal trainer during the week and weekends w private clients and teaching boot camp classes and other family and social events with friends. I say that to say this .... in spite of how busy it seems I was I made time for someone who I was quite interested in. He was worth it to me, and I made time out of my busy day(s) to spend time w him, whether it was going out for a drink, having dinner, making dinner, a movie or just watching a football game together. It didn't matter that I had just worked 12 hours and had a 2 hour workout after work and just wanted to shower and go to bed. Even if I went over to his house and laid around and fell asleep I was still spending time with him and that was how I looked at it .... the reality was this ..... in spite of it all I came to realize that I couldn't get half of what I gave in return. But what I did get was a lot of excuses. And when I say a lot I mean so many excuses I could've turned them into a short story of excuses. They ranged from, I am working late, I am working my part time job, I have to spend a little bit of time with my son, my brother wants to hang out later, I need a nap I am tired and so on and so forth. With all my years of back and forth with this person I allowed this to continue on until I realized I was just a bit fed up. I sat back and said "damn I would give this man my last biscuit if he was hungry but yet he wouldn't even split his in half with me if I wanted to taste it"

REPEAT THE ABOVE AGAIN .... NO ONE IS ALWAYS BUSY !!! Even God had time to sit at the round table w his homies and chill ..... with folks it is all about priority and sometimes it is just about convenience. When we drop things and switch our schedules around for folks who wouldn't even cancel an appointment for us, we show that vulnerable side we have towards them and sometimes folks use that kindness for weakness and take full advantage of it. Hard to swallow, hard to accept at times but it is true. We all have had that one person, one friend, one relative (HELL IN MY CASE SEVERAL RELATIVES) who are quick to dial you up for a favor or other things because they can depend on you to make it happen but in the back of your mind you knew if the tables were turned you would be FRESH OUT OF LUCK with them. Sometimes it seems like having a good heart can hurt your heart. We have to figure out who and what is best for us and who and what truly deserves our time and attention. Doesn't mean that we won't make folks a priority when they refuse to make us one, just mean we have to be more aware of the signals early on. There are 24 hours in a day, now minus the hours you work, the hours you are asleep and then you divide the rest up between other activities like the gym, spending time with your children, and other tidbits but damn it the truth of the matter is IF SOMEONE IS IMPORTANT TO YOU then TRUST AND BELIEVE .... TIME WILL BE MADE !!! The time will truly come when you get so fed up with certain folks that you will sit back and analyze all the times you broke plans with your girls, to spend time with a guy who wouldn't even cancel game night with his boys to spend a few hours with you, or the time you was 2 exits from your house and turned around to get food for someone you was involved with which meant you back tracking and wasting gas you know you probably needed for work for the remainder of the week, or just getting home and showering and ready to snuggle in your bed and you get a text or call saying "come over" and you toss on some sweatpants and take the journey to wherever they are! Now if you read this and say to yourself, oh never not me, then please SMACK YOURSELF  because at some point and time we have all been there, some of us are there right now and wondering how the hell we got back to this point. Regardless of which it's been experienced. It's crazy how we can waste so much time on certain people and in the end they prove that they weren't even worth a second of it. I am truly learning daily to be selective with who I invest my time in, wasted time is worse than wasted money. One way to look at is ... "I tried, you didn't, I'm done." Granted it isn't always this cut and dry but do remember the only thing you can't recycle is wasted time.