Long distance relationships

Believe it or not at some point we have all considered it, been there, thought about it or possibly going thru it. We often hear the stories about how long distance relationships will never work out. Or maybe we hear the stories that absence makes the heart grow fonder and time away is much needed for trial and tribulation for a relationship. Me personally, I am not for it but with relocating to North Carolina I have strongly considered it a time or two.

A long distance relationship can either be chicken soup for the soul or poison ivy on the body! When you decide to make that decision with someone you never know what to expect. It can make you love someone so much more or it can help you see what you have been blinded by being so close by. Some say it can be seen as an opportunity, in order to determine whether you want to live together you must first know what it feels like to live apart. It has been said even though I need proof and facts to be a test of your love. There is a Chines saying that goes "real gold is not afraid of the test of fire." Pretty much in terms to a long distance relationship it is seeing the distance as a bond to make you even stronger and NOT pulling you apart.

Now my question is this ... how far is to far? Is there a mileage amount on long distance relationships? How many years have to be vested into a situation before you consider a long distance relationship? If he lives in Rhode Island and I move to California is it worth the try? What if you have only been dating for 8 months and all of a sudden you get a great promotion from your job which you have always wanted ... do you leave or do you stay? We never know what the outcome of a relationship can or will be. For some a long distance relationship can turn into another job, knowing each other schedules, keeping track of activities and social media accounts to stay in touch, etc. But what happens when you see something they post on social media that makes it look like they are having the time of their life without you, then what?

I always think about the time you don't get to spend with each other more than the fact of it bringing you closer together. Sometimes when you have had a bad day at work it feels good to talk about it with your significant other but it feels even better to talk about it with them face to face or over dinner and relax too. I think I focus on the challenges more than anything else. There will be a disconnection there especially if you aren't able to see each other on a monthly basis depending on how far apart you are from each other. The reality is that long distance relationships are about 90% promises. So you are kind of living in a world of hope for awhile until you figure out what will become. Who's going to make the move or the plunge, what happens if you moved away for better and your significant other doesn't want to leave because he feels fine back home? Who's willing to compromise if no one wants to take a step forward and the other doesn't want to take a step back?

Sometimes we are just so afraid to start over elsewhere and so we hold onto something we often foresee not working ... and sometimes we hold on with hopes that it will all work out. It's OK if a long distance relationship isn't for you "it ain't for everybody" (Jay-Z voice) and I say that to say this, if your relationship  breaks under the pressure it's not because of the distance ... HELL in most cases it's not even your fault !!! Sometimes it is just not the right relationship to be fighting for and that is OK. In strengthening yourself, you won't only survive the distance but you will probably be so much better for it. They often say "absence makes the heart grow fonder" and it can indeed fan the flames of your passion, even if it's for yourself and your own future.

No matter how painful it feels at the time, this is an important truth for both of you to know. Recognizing the wrong relationship is a crucial step in finding the right relationship.