why do women settle for bad sex?

WHY SETTLE?

why do women settle for bad sex? Life is to short to settle for anything especially bad sex

Relationships are complicated in that they can be as simple as meeting the right person at the right time, or as difficult as trying to complete a rubix cube blindfolded. For some sex isn't a big deal (personally ME) it doesn't define a great relationship or makes a great relationship but I damn sure ain't going to settle for BAD SEX while in a relationship. Sex can either be the most/least important thing or fall anywhere in between. Again for some sex isn't a big deal, sometimes it's just something folks do to pass the time or please their partner. For others sex provides a safe haven when in a relationship and others just have a sexual orgasm craving they have to fulfill and sex does that for them. 

Women who settle for bad sex will point to any number of reasons for staying. The most common explanation of staying is "he's a good man and he has all these other great qualities. Why would I leave him just because the sex is bad?" I get it, trust me I do ! Because often good sex comes from bad dudes - you know the one's who fuck you so good your toes curls, are often felons, drug dealers, local rappers (you know 30 years old still making mix-tapes), etc. It is often said that women can't go backwards in a lifestyle and men can't go backwards sexually. Meaning, once a woman is accustomed to a certain lifestyle or way of being treated by a man, she will NO longer accept anything less than that. Now generally for men, once he is introduced to certain sexual acts and finds joy in them, he will no longer date a woman who won't meet those same basic desires. Example?!? Sure why not ! Remember back in the 90's when sucking dick was such an ambiguity and now it's all the RAVE and men are so stern that if they meet a chick and she doesn't suck dick, then it won't work! 

women settle for bad sex for different reasons:

- to hold on to a man they like, in hopes of teaching him how to please her.

- they've never known good sex, so they accept what they can get.

- they're afraid to question what he's doing...fearing he will walk out the door.

- they don't know how to tell him he's not doing it right.

- some women still believe that sex is about the man...and he doesn't have to satisfy her

the list goes on. 

until she find it within herself to tell him what she likes, and wants done, nothing will change.

Now finding a mate can be challenging but it damn sure isn't impossible (even though sometimes I feel like I am being repeatedly cast for a Mission Impossible movie) but that is neither here nor there. And while I am aware of the 80/20 rule I damn sure don't believe in it much and not sure why sex would be involved in that 20! My mind can't fathom being with someone and continuously having to fake orgasms, terrible fellatio, and having to look in their face everyday knowing that they can't please me. Now I truly believe in a monogamous relationship and I also believe that if I am only allowed to have sex with one person for the duration of the time I'm with said person, sexual compatibility would be at the top of the list - or damn near close to it for sure !!!

I wouldn't consider myself a hyper-sexual being but who doesn't like some good beef (don't act like you don't know what the good beef is). The only thing that separates your romantic relationship from your other relationship is the presence of sex. (seriously think about it) and I can reassure you this; if the sex is bad, YOU WILL NOT be doing a whole lot of it. So you might as well just give up and be friends. Honest hour: sometimes biology just doesn't want two people to be together, no matter how good of a person they are or how strong the sexual tension may or may not be. I mean sure you can give it time, and for some people that's enough - but to put it quite simply, all the conversation and physical attraction in the world won't change some mediocre dick ! *kanye shrug*

Friendships with the opposite sex during relationships ... good or bad?

Why do women/men keep male/female friends around while in a relationship, knowing the guy/girl likes them?

Is it wrong to have male friends if you have a boyfriend? 

So this morning at 4 AM, I received a text message asking me to discuss this on my blog and often many of my topics come from females but surprisingly this one came from a male. I thought to myself it was a truly interesting topic, but my opinion definitely won't be the same as others. Girls mentality are different from a guy's mentality, because females are the trophy winners of placing guys in the friend zone without a doubt of it being anything more than just that. As a man in a relationship, if you feel threatened by the presence of a male friend does it mean you have some insecurities? I was told that guys don't "friend zone" females, either they fucking or not. Nothing more and nothing less. I disagree but we won't go there.

Every one is entitled to their opinion on the subject. Now we are all subjective to feel the way we choose to feel about a situation, but remember one's situation isn't always the same as the next person's situation. Sometimes building trust doesn't give folks a green light to fuck later. Cause often that trust and comfort can also be what continues to keep a dude in the friend zone. But again, I can't speak on every one's situation. Just what I know from experience. Most females keep them around for different reasons; to be a friend and a friend only. Some are kept as a backup. Some for convenience. Some turn into true confidants. But it's not always as a "if my man acts up we going to fuck and I got a back up plan" type of situation which is normally the case with guys and their female friends.

So as I text the homie Jay this afternoon about this topic he tells me "it's good to always have a spare" and I thought to myself is this how 90% of men look at it. When men are in relationships, do they keep in contact with the girl who they sidelined just in case? According to Jay he said YES and not for a backup but to keep in touch. (I felt that was bullshit) but then again it's just my opinion.

So is it wrong? Personally, I feel not at all. Having a boyfriend/girlfriend, or a spouse for that matter, does not mean that you should lose your individuality and social life. As long as you don't do things that will make your partner unhappy or concerned. It's a thin line between every action we take. Having friends is never wrong. Where it might become difficult is when your significant other expresses an unrealistic concern - although it's more likely to do with their own insecurity, and not a "I trust you not him" kind of situation which they will insist is the real reason. Just for the record, as much as boys don't want their girlfriends' having male friends; girls don't want their boyfriends having female friends either.

As her boyfriend you should be one of her closest friends - if not the closest - but that doesn't mean you should be her only male friend. Men typically feel threatened when they are dating a woman with a slew of male friends, but often there is nothing to worry about. How many is too many guy friends anyways? Have you ever thought of the reasons why she has so many male friends than female friends? Tomboy growing up? Only girl with several brothers? More into sports than manicures and makeup?  All I am saying is don't ever expect her to stop being friends with these men because you ask her to in the midst of a relationship, that could be grounds for a breakup. In the beginning of the relationship ask her about her male friends, how they became friends, how long they been friends. etc. and that will give you a better understanding of many things.

does body count after age 30?

Does it really matter???

Conversation has led to this blog. Does body count matter when you are over the age of 30?

Why are numbers such a big deal? Why do we think they reveal something about us people? Yes, maybe a higher number suggests a more open attitude toward sex and a lower number suggests being more selective, but I don't even like thinking about it in terms of a higher or lower because, well higher and lower in relation to what?

Also, a specific number isn't that telling at all. Say you are 25 years old and have been sexually active since you were 15, and your number is 20. This could mean you've never had a serious relationship, but despite being single you've only sex with two people a year, which eventually added up to 20. Or it could mean you've been a monogamous relationship for 9 years, but that one year you were single you had a hell of a Full Moon party on your trip to Miami. Those are two very different attitude towards sex. Everyone's history and their relationship with sex is individual. I've had friends that have only had sex with one person and they're some of the horniest bitches I know, others have had sex with way into the double digits but now their sex drives have slowed down and they have very little interest in sex. A number isn't going to tell you very much.

the only reason numbers are taboo or controversial is because we act like they should be. I have lots of friends, especially women, who have either evaded or outright lied when it comes to discussing how many sexual partners they've had. And a lot of people, especially men, ignore or don't want to imagine their current partner has had sex with anyone but them, or at least that she only did it with serious boyfriends.

Given all the differences in the way men and women view sex and relationships and communication: What are the rules about disclosing your number of sexual partners and should it matter? The average number of partners a man purports to have in a lifetime is around 11. The average number of partners a woman purports to have is closer to 6. Of course, this is not true.

And as far as I’m concerned it is NOBODY’S BUSINESS HOW MANY PEOPLE YOU’VE SLEPT WITH. Similarly, it’s none of your business how many people he’s slept with. This is a classic “don’t ask, don’t tell” situation, on par with “Are you dating anyone else right now?” Before you jump all over me, this is not the same as “Do you have any STDs?” That is a pointed and specific health-related question, where full disclosure is essential. Thus, a man has no right to know your number, lest he judge you by a different standard than he judges himself. If he insists, give him a little white lie. It’s none of his business and he doesn’t deserve the truth. Seriously. As long as you’re not sleeping with anyone while you’re dating him, whatever you did in your past is between you and your conscience. So honestly speaking, it’s not that numbers don’t matter. It’s that they can be deceiving. Questions about numbers only beget more questions and create more insecurity. The only thing you need to know about his sexual past is whether he’s disease free.

Do you care how many people your partner has slept with? In a world of growing sexual promiscuity, the days where girls could count the number of their sexual partners on one hand is long gone. The idea that there is an acceptable amount of people a woman can sleep with in her life needs to become a notion of the past. Want to know what the “acceptable” number actually is? It’s whatever amount of people a person feels comfortable sleeping with. NEWSFLASH: it is a personal choice.

“Do not judge or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” 

Why do people lie about their number? Is it for the fear of being judged? Well, f*cking duh. But who are we to pass such harsh judgment onto others? Why even ask the question in the first place? Almost all people, regardless of gender, are going to lie. Men exaggerate it while women downplay it. Like “American Pie” taught us, when a girl tells you her number, multiply it by three and when a guy tells you his number, divide it by three. I hope this isn’t true for everyone because I’d be f*cked, and not in a good way. (no judgement zone here guys). Who cares if you banged 5 people or 50? Your personality and quirks still remain the same.

“Do not be afraid of exploring your sexuality, fantasies and desires. Embrace them. Love them. Make them yours. They are a part of who you are.” 

The double standard is alive and well, but it needs to be eradicated. It’s bullsh*t that a man can receive praise for banging out any girl he can get his hands on, but if a girl does the same, she is labeled a slut. The ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ approach is the way to go. There are many things that are better left unsaid and this is one of them.

“If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.”

Why should a person’s sexual past carry such a stigma that they become reluctant to reveal that number to anyone who asks? Your number reflects your past…what happened to living in the moment? The past is behind you and if you reflect on it, it’s only going to haunt you. There is no reason to dwell on past lovers if they bear no relevance to your present situation.

Everyone has a past and there is a reason it has not transcended into your future. Let your past be your past, people! Don’t drag that sh*t into your current relationship that only creates unnecessary problems.

Does GOOD pussy come with a bad attitude ?!? Good pussy vs bad pussy

DOES GOOD PUSSY COME WITH A BAD ATTITUDE???

Yes !!! Class is in session. Now any one who knows me, truly know my background. I have 8 brothers and I tell people all the time my poppa was a rolling stone. Hell me and my brother are 3 months apart (and we not twins and don't have the same mother)! So when it comes to certain topics at hand I have the male perspective often, and besides growing up all my best friends were guys.

So earlier today while having conversation w some homies this topic came about. Now one homie said to me "all women have bad attitudes" I immediately laughed and thought he knows nothing! But at the same time thinking, can he be right?

Now let's set the record straight a bit between good pussy and bad pussy, cause I often here it's some chicks out here w a trash can in between their legs, who can't pop a headstand on the dick and walking around w the worst attitude to man-kind (so I've been told). So let's be clear about this, I like to keep it 100% at all times possible. Good pussy is SUBJECTIVE! What is good pussy to one man may well be mediocre to the next man. What will whip one man won't even make another man break his stride. Someone once told me that when you are out and about the women with good pussy always have a swoon of men around them, they let their good pussy shine thru in EVERY aspect of life!



                                              

• Good pussy will make you call out of work so y'all can FUCK your day away.
• You surrender your biweekly paycheck to good pussy. 
• Good pussy commands loyal dick. 
• Good pussy will be your muse. 
• Good pussy wants to see your dreams come true. 
• You keep your dignity after being whipped by good pussy. 
• Good pussy makes you hate condoms. 
• Good pussy has been whore'd UP for the right man.
• Good pussy will help you live longer. 

In a world where men will sleep with any woman willing to lay it low and spread 'em wide, how do you know if your pussy has WHIP appeal? We live in a world where women have bad pussy, but understand a man going thru a drought or a stubborn man won't tell you that (not right away anyways). Now GOOD pussy can be demanding, she can demand dick! Now let's not get this confused w convenience. If you need a recap on comfort and convenience scroll thru the old blogs and read what I wrote back then. Good pussy will have you breaking your rules just to keep her happy. Once you're pussy whipped you will find yourself quitting the things you love just to spend time with her. You're eating HER favorite snacks and eating at HER favorite restaurants. Before you know it you're sitting on her couch drinking martinis and letting her paint your nails (with clear polish cuz you're a grown ass man) while watching a Sex and the City marathon. Pussy whipped. She pushes your limits because she knows the power of her good pussy. She has you doing things so far out of your character that you KNOW your boys will clown you for letting a chick convince you to do it. It doesn't matter how big you smile, you're pussy whipped and it shows. Way to go bruh!

Getting pussy is easy nowadays. I'll be one of the first women to admit it. Its amazing how easy some women have made it for men to smash. Their standards are so low all you have to do is smile at her and she drops the draws LITERALLY. Rarely do women make a man work for the hot pocket anymore.

OK, so let's get back to the good vs the bad. "Contrary to what most women think, all pussy is not created equal. Some pussies are prettier than others, some get wetter than others, some are warmer than others, and some are deeper than others. Furthermore, they all taste different. Pussy is sort of like Chinese food in the hood, the Kung Pao Chicken at Great Wall tastes a lot better than it does at Royal Palace. The point is that whether you like the dish or not depends on where you get it from. Pussy is no different. Again, all pussy is not created equal."

In general, men are just happy having sex. And with that being said women can be happy knowing that their pussy is "okay". And for a man okay is good. I read something that mentioned good pussy as "thundamonkey" LMAO !!! Good pussy is rare and actually depends on a number of variables more so than anything constant and measurable. Now here are some more signs of good pussy:

15 Things GOOD PUSSY Can Do:

1. Have Him Sending “I Left the Door Open for You” Texts

Every once in a while you like to hit the club with your girls. After a few drinks, numerous arm grabs, and ass shaking, you get out the club horny as fuck. But your dude couldn’t possibly stay up to 4am just waiting could he? Certainly your dude didn’t stay up all night torturing himself waiting on that after-the-club pussy. But wait, you just got a “left the door open” text. No matter how dangerous his neighborhood is, a guy will always leave his door open for some GOOD PUSSY. I don’t care if he lives in Gotham City, he’s going to leave it open.

2. Sleeping However to Make Sure She’s Comfortable

3. He Can Go a Few Extra Rounds

4. Have You Getting the Haircut She Likes Most on You

5. Telling His Boys He’s Staying In

All the fellas know what’s going down when he stops hitting the streets and the club up like he used to. Every time they hit him, he say “Naw bruh, I think I’ma chill with shorty tonite. I’ma get up with ya’ll later.” Soon as his boys get off the phone they’re like “This muthafucka here!” and clown him for the rest of the night. Funny thing is though, he gives zero fucks.

6. Have Him Googling New Moves to Do

7. Make Him Sing to You (And He Can’t Even Sing)

8. Make Him Consider Being Your Boyfriend

GOOD PUSSY will have him wanting to lock that pussy down and make it official. He thought about it because he’s not trying to have another guy double-dipping in that. If you puttin’ GOOD PUSSY on him, he’ll be along in your dim ass living room, sipping Hennessy on your couch, contemplating being a committed man.

9. Have Him in the Gym

10. Have Him Tivo’ing Your Favorite Shows for When You Come Over

11. Have Him Agreeing with You When He KNOW’S You’re Wrong

12. Have Him Cooking

13. Make Him Wanna Have Phone Sex

14. Spend His Last on Some Rubbers

He could have $13.78 in his account and be starvin’ like Marvin. But if you hit him up, he gone cop that $8 pack of Bare skins rubbers and drive right past MickieD’s on the way to your house. Understand the game, Ladies. Yes, you have food at your house, but your man doesn’t know that. In his mind, fuck it, I’ll have to starve tonight. It ain’t every day that a dude gets to bounce in some wet springy pussy.

15. Pulling Out Every 2 Minutes

No man wants to nut too quick. GOOD PUSSY will have him pulling out, giving himself pep talks, and stroking super slow just so he can hang. You know your pussy is good when he can’t even look down at it while he’s fuckin’. Because if he does…it’s a wrap.


Has good pussy ever caused you to make bad decisions (I.e. getting her pregnant, loaning large sums of money, etc.)?

Pussy. We all know it’s what makes the world go round, right? That’s just the way it is. It’s the most valuable substance on earth because men want it so bad. Human men are gaga over the pussy. It’s instinct. But it doesn't mean that every guy you meets WANT your pussy, ladies let's be clear.

                                                  

Settling vs Settling Down

In this current day and age, the dating game get's real serious. I had someone tell me today that when you hit around 35 the "settle down" mode kicks in for most men, granted most females will settle down when they feel they have found something worth settling for. One thing about dating is you can end up wasting a lot of time on a few frogs and ugly ducklings before you find your prince charming or Cinderella.

So let me share a few signs that may prove you are ready to settle down:

• When you are ready to listen and compromise on almost anything, from breakfast to money.
• When you no longer feel like you might be missing out on something better.
• You accept all of your partner's flaws unconditionally.
• You're fully prepared to put someone else ahead of yourself.
• When you stop hiding your stretch marks and other so-called "imperfections" because you know your partner loves you anyway.

Now trust me that this list can go on for eternity but these are a few things I have noticed as signs. For some it may be something totally different, like when you feel comfortable passing gas around your boo or if you are comfortable going number 2 in his bathroom. To each it's own 

Now let us keep in mind. There is a BIG difference between SETTLING and SETTLING DOWN ! Oh you probably thought I wouldn't go there huh? Well guess again, you guys know how I do (for those of you who really know me). 

Settling vs Settling Down

Far to often in life people make this mistake of not identifying the two, or failing to realize that there is definitely a difference. I often see a lot of people settle for less than they deserve, I am not one to pass judgment I have settled a time or two in my life. Not one person is perfect. People settle daily, whether w careers, love, family, finances, and so on and so forth. 

Settling in relationships is a dangerous place to be. When you settle in a relationship you potentially fuck up two people’s lives, yours and the person you settled for.

Signs of Settling

• This is the best that I can do
• This is significantly better than my last relationship so I shouldn’t complain
• It’s been a long time since I’ve connected with anybody
• Well, I’m x age and if I don’t make this work I’m going to be to old (this one is quite popular)
• etc, etc,

Signs of Settling Down

• I feel amazing about this
• I feel truly blessed to have this person
• I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with this person
• I wake up everyday grateful to have this person next to me
• This is what I truly want

You realize what’s possible. Once you realize what’s possible there’s no going back. So it’s enlightening and terrifying all at the same time. You see that it’s possible to shape your life the way you see fit and anything less is unacceptable.