alone.

I am in a current stage where I am learning how to be alone and be happy. Learning how to be alone without being lonely and losing my mind. Making time to be alone is important for our sense of self and individuality, self knowledge and some unwinding and R&R. 

Being alone is essential with learning how to stand on your own two feet again and the most important part FIND YOURSELF! Some people experience loneliness while others celebrate it. Most of us enjoy spending time with friends, laughing and meeting new people. Being alone can be tricky on the mind, as many of us fear being judged by peers when out alone doing things that seem to be meant for friends and companions, like dancing, eating at restaurants, and festivals. The reality is as humans we crave companionship. 

Loneliness should not be compared to the fear of being alone. We all have times when we are alone for situational reasons or simply because we have chosen to be alone. Being alone means different things to different people. Often many reasons why men and women engage into relationships is because of their fear of being alone. 

Sometimes when we choose to be alone we make ourselves lonely by shutting out the world, hiding behind our curtains and closed doors, shutting people out, and disconnecting ourselves from the world a bit. So if you are like me at times here are a few things we can try and do to learn how to be alone and NOT be lonely:

• take yourself out on a date; whether it is to a movie, an art show, spoken word, or even a local event going on in your city. This is something I am truly working on because often my mind thinks it's a great idea but then fear of going alone kicks in and I sit behind those shut curtains. 
• meditate daily; I have been told that meditation is one of the most valuable ways we can spend time alone and with ourselves. It introduces clarity, peace, serenity and focus into our lives. Even if it is just two minutes a day it's great. My biggest struggle is making time to sit with myself on a regular basis, so if you too are like me then let's start by making a commitment to just sit and breathe daily for two minutes. INHALE all the goodness and EXHALE all the bullshit. Then as weeks progress we can try for 3 minutes, then 4 and so on. 
• turn off your devices to the world and just disconnect; WHAT NO PHONE? Yes I know it's like someone taking our lifeline away isn't it? Even though our devices are a social connection to the world and people we love, the truth is they are also a gift and a curse. How often is it that when people have a negative experience they rant about it on Facebook or Instagram? Now if we disconnect from the world for awhile it allows us to self soothe. Often by disconnecting ourselves from external distractions, we develop much deeper connections with ourselves. 
• make time to sit each day and write about whatever is on your mind; I am still working on this myself. My friend in California vows by this and is always telling me that keeping a journal will bring me such peace. IT will allow me to write it all down, let it out and carry on. Journaling allows us to express our true thoughts without being judged. 
• travel alone; I for one do not agree with this but I think that once I experience traveling alone I will feel differently about it. 
• love alone. doing things alone allows us to realize that even though relationships are important, loving oneself must be at the foundation of any connection. So many of us want someone to love and someone to love us, but I have been told if you enjoy whom you are to walk alone, you will eventually see the value in not being followed. 

So let's learn to be alone and not feel lonely. Let us allow ourselves to relish in the blessing of life, and not allow ourselves to ever miss out on anything because we tricked ourselves into believing we couldn't do it alone.