Breaking Barriers: when to start having unprotected sex

So here we are again, another great topic to discuss the curious minds in the world. Sex but a little bit deeper into the realms of sex ... when to start having unprotected sex?

Now personally I don't know if it is really a time frame one can put on this question because everyone has their morals, values, fears, beliefs and opinions on this subject. Whether it's 6 months or even 6 years there will come a time when you and your partner may question each other as to whether it's necessary or not to use condoms anymore. This is really a topic that should be discussed with your partner but NOT when you are in the heat of the moment.

Whether it's a lack of access to condoms (which it should never be - especially when clinics damn near give them away for free), relationship status (boyfriend/girlfriend), or the all time favorite line "it just feels better" the decision itself opens up a lot of variety of risks. Risks can be sexually transmitted diseases, pregnancy and much more. I often hear women say "I am on birth control so I am not worried about getting pregnant" but birth control isn't 100% effective. Are you in a monogamous relationship? Even if you are it doesn't really allow you to immediately think you can have unprotected sex. But the reality is after awhile most people lose the latex and carry on .... but how long does one wait?

Many people assume that single people are just out here loosely having unprotected sex and that's not true whatsoever. And just because people are married doesn't necessarily mean that their relationship itself is monogamous either. So when deciding whether or not to drop the latex you must be assertive about a lot of things.

How much do you trust and believe that your partner is only sexually active with you and only you? This is where open communication is very key between you and your partner. That means having open and honest communication about past sexual partners, history and values. If your partner has had 10 sexual partners and didn't use protection with 7 out of the 10 what are your thoughts? Does it make you think that they are gambling with their health and now willing to gamble with yours? I have heard that the more partners someone has had the more likely it is that they have possibly been exposed to a STI (sexually transmitted infection). The next step is definitely to GET TESTED TOGETHER because when you both get tested together you are certain about it being done and it gives you both confirmation of a clean slate. Now if you eventually decide to ditch the latex don't ever feel that you can't change your mind and go back to using condoms, it happens. But the doors of communication should always be open.

Often many of us stop using condoms as soon as we're in a relationship or as soon as we think someone may be "boyfriend/girlfriend material". Before dropping the condoms a discussion must be had about where you want to take your relationship; now if your partner isn't on the same page about where you are trying to go then don't do it !!! Some things do come to an end, some relationships don't work out, but dealing with this change definitely requires much open communication. How much do you trust your partner? How serious is your situation? How long have you been in a relationship (a real relationship not still pressing the issue of making it official)? If you decide to stop using condoms do you have a back up plan (birth control) or are you prepared to take the responsibility that may come along with it (babies and is your partner ready for children too)?

When deciding whether or not to stop using condoms consider these questions:

• what kind of relationship am I in? (you may think your relationship is exclusive and your partner may think otherwise)
• do I TRUST my partner?
• are you being pressured to not use condoms anymore? (if so that would be a red flag to me personally)
• can you communicate OPEN and HONESTLY with your partner? (about the past - your partner may unveil some things that make you look at them differently and are you ready to hear it all and still look at them the same way)

So again, whether it's 6 weeks, 6 months, 1 year or 6 years the decision is solely between you and your partner but the trust and open communication should definitely be present and in existence. Also if you decide to drop the latex, get tested and start off knowing you both have a clean health bill moving forward.