Oral Sex ... deal breaker or no?

o·ral sex

noun

1. sexual activity in which the genitals of one partner are stimulated by the mouth of the other; fellatio or cunnilingus.

Doesn't it feel like you can talk about sex and the things surrounding it until you're blue in the face? Well here we are again .... sex .... but this time let's talk about oral sex. 

Is it a deal breaker if your partner doesn't like giving or receiving oral sex? Somewhere possibly in the year of 2000 and something oral sex became all the rage with my generation. Sex became not enough to satisfy the needs of most people. It was all about oral sex, sloppy top, licking the clit and so much more (maybe we can blame Lil' Kim LOL) but nonetheless it has become like a requirement for some people in relationships, just like when driving a vehicle making sure you always wear your seat belt kind of requirement. 

But the question is this ... can you still have a great relationship without oral sex? Foreplay is an extremely important part of having a satisfying sexual relationship. It's not always about how big his dick is or how far back her legs can go during sex and the fact that maybe she can do a split on your dick but the foreplay is what get's the show going for most if not ALL people in a sexual relationship. I mean if you and your partner are able to engage right into the sexual act with no foreplay then chances are your relationship is a bit predictable. 

Now oral sex can be enjoyable for the male and female and often an orgasm can be reached on just foreplay alone. But there are some people who just don't enjoy or engage in oral sex for their reasons and their reasons alone. They just don't like to give it or receive it. 

Some women who don't like oral may be a bit self conscious about how she may taste or smell down there, some may be uncomfortable about how they look down there also (since we are in the era of all females should get waxed stage), and some may only be comfortable receiving if the lights are out. 

Now although the majority of men do enjoy receiving oral sex, believe it or not there are men out in this world who do not ! yes I said there are men WHO DO NOT enjoy oral sex or to receive it. Some men are just as self conscious as women about receiving oral. Some men may hate the way their penis looks initially before it get's hard, some may think they carry a smell or odor down there, he doesn't want her to gag, or he may be afraid of her accidentally biting his knob. 

Now some guys need that oral sex to provide them with the extra stimulation to perform sexually at a higher level and sometimes women need that same stimulation. I know for some oral can definitely be a touchy subject, and I am not saying that you should be going down on people left and right. Partners should feel comfortable and be willing to perform these activities if it's something your significant other enjoys. I read somewhere that sex is like an entree, appetizers are nice and desert is even better but even without all the extra sex itself can be damn good. Granted sex is often about compromise, but keep in mind that someone with great sex might not give head, and someone may give perfect head but have mediocre (WHACK) sex. So with that being said one should really prioritize what it is they want and need in a partner, who knows maybe the stars will align and maybe it won't but if you are satisfied in many other ways w out the oral is it such a big deal breaker?

So if you love a girl/guy and they don't like to give or receive oral sex would you dump them? Just writing it made me think of all the people who would say yes (so childish). The truth is for someone to enjoy giving oral they have to enjoy what they are doing and enjoy giving it as well. I mean "it ain't for everybody". I mean slow progress is better than no progress but don't do it because you feel like you are being forced and may lose a partner over it. If you are that person who doesn't believe in giving oral sex don't just drop to your knees and do it willingly especially if your partner isn't asking. 

Now someone said to me "chicks who don't give oral is loosing!" I laughed and told him that's so untrue. I know girls who give oral on a regular and they still loosing, they just as single as the next female who isn't giving oral. It's not like oral sex is out here saving relationships and shit. 

"Oral sex can spice up your relationship and can be very useful for a closer bond. However many women have inhibitions and guilt associated with oral sex which has to be handled by her partner well. She needs to be convinced slowly rather than forcing oral sex on her. Obviously you cannot dump a girl just because she is unwilling to have oral sex on you."

If you are in a relationship in which you prefer not to give or receive oral sex, there are other types of foreplay that you can engage in to make your sexual experience satisfying. Instead of your tongue or mouth, explore one another with your hands or fingers. You can still stimulate partner with your hands and fingers. You can also incorporate a sex toy or vibrator during foreplay (now I am not for the toys and what not but honey to each it's own).

Remember, it is important to respect your partner and his or her comfort level.