We all hate to hear this phrase especially as women, because we are often emotion beings and when we meet someone whom we feel like we can build with very often that person just doesn't want what we want. Do you know why we hate the phrase? Often because it's true. Yes and we have all heard the phrase "truth hurts". But it doesn't always have to. We have to be aware that often at times when we feel like we are love high and enjoying this new situation our partner may not be feeling the same.
Sometimes we are so consumed in our thoughts that we miss the red flags. So let's kind of review some of them and keep in mind there are exceptions ...
- he talks about his ex frequently; now it is fine to bring up an ex a time or two but often under very neutral conversation between each other. But frequently discussing your past relationships is tacky and it may also imply that maybe, just maybe that there are some still unresolved issues lingering in their mind, whether it's rage, resentment, doubt, or still a lot of love. This rule also applies to you too !!! Don't always mention your love life and it's contents, do remember it's the past for a reason right ? Now if he mentions the ex and it bothers you, then damn it let him know ! "Closed mouths don't get fed". Often in the beginning of a relationship, we are on our best behavior so it's not cool to showcase all your baggage immediately, besides it's not what we are here for.
- he tells you he is NOT ready for a relationship; now this is a never ending line that women always hear from a guy very much to often too. Sometimes we disregard this statement when they tell us and continue pursuing these "unavailable" men. These guys flat out tell us that they don't wanna commit and yet here we are baking them cookies, bringing them lunch at work on your day off, engaging in naked sleepovers, and telling your girlfriends that's "bae" when he doesn't probably feel half of what you do. How could he not love you for doing all this right? But then again why should he when he is getting the boyfriend treatment without committing to being with you? We all have been in this situation, slap yourself a few times, better yet let a good friend do it for you ... the reality is he doesn't want a relationship even w someone as great as you. But as long as the perks continue on why wouldn't he stay? I mean I would, most men love a good home cooked meal and convenient sex. But you shouldn't have to waste your time convincing him otherwise, move on and bake cookies for someone who cares about you the way you care about them.
- he still hasn't asked you out; now here you guys are texting and chatting for months and months on end but yet he hasn't asked you out on a date or to hang out. Interesting huh? Nope not one bit, he just isn't in to you. You should never have to force someone to ask you out.
- does he give you butterflies? well if not maybe he's not the one for you. Not to say you will get butterflies immediately but after a certain point some form of chemistry needs to be there in order for this to exist.
- conversation/time spent minimal to none; do you guys spend time together? when you do is it mutual agreement or is it based on when he has free time or do you always have to set the dates up in order for you guys to spend time together? If so could be a sign he just isn't that into you. I always say that if someone is all about you and interested in you, then you would NEVER have to beg for their time. People make time for who/what they want to make time for.
- more physical and less emotional? YUP you know what I mean ... calls after midnight or to me after 10 pm asking what you are doing and can he come over for a few or can you come to his house .... a man who is truly into you just doesn't want to get to know your body because it's so much more that you have to offer besides your body. Trust he would want to know everything about you mind, body and soul.
- does he ask about your day? I know it may seem like something small but it definitely means a lot. When a man is into you he values what is going on in your life, even the little things !!!
- does he pencil you in? you know the let me check my schedule ordeal ? if so then chances are he isn't in to you ... again people make time for who/what they want to make time for. NEVER feel like you have to force someone to want to spend time with you.
- are you always wondering? If so it's not often a good sign, when a man is into you, trust you will know and never have to wonder nor worry about it.
These are just some little things I learned over the years, and most of them are dead on. We often waste valuable time on someone who doesn't deserve it and time wasted is the worse. So instead of wondering if he is into you, trying to convince him why you are such a good woman and perfect for him face reality and let it go. Find someone who will give you exactly what it is you are looking for, trust me he is out there.
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