what you deserve.

You ever knew in your heart that the person you wanted was meant for you and realized after awhile that they didn't deserve you? People don't always get what they deserve in this world. 

Ever had someone tell you "you don't deserve me" or "you can do better than me" but you brush it off and don't believe them. Let's stop for a minute and let me tell you this, if someone EVER tells you such a thing BELIEVE THEM !!! 9 times out of 10 they are telling you for a reason. Either they like you or they don't, never try and convince someone of your worth. If a person doesn't appreciate you, then hell they don't deserve you. 

The only sure thing about life is that it is in constant motion. Days pass, season changes (winter, spring, fall and summer), people leave, people die, new beginnings happen and things end. The truth is there are some people we are better off without. There are some people who are just toxic in our lives and for our souls. 

There are a million reasons why we love people. The way they look in the morning when they first wake up (yes even their morning breath). The comfort and safety they give us. When someone leaves us who has mistreated us badly. or did us wrong in whatever way possible, hurt us whether it's physically, mentally, or emotionally, psychologically, that disconnect between the brain and heart happens and we are often left with confusion. 

Ever sat and thought to yourself, how is it possible that I miss someone who made my life a living hell, someone who made me so miserable, someone who brought me so much pain in life? The brain immediately takes over with questions and thoughts for the days and the heart never knows what to say or feel. Maybe sometimes we miss people we shouldn't miss or that doesn't deserve us because we are questioning if maybe someday they would've been better, maybe one day they would've loved us like we wanted them to love us or how we felt we deserved to be loved, or showed they really did care about us. Often at times we are so connected to those few good memories that they become more like a lifeboat in such a sea of disappointment. *sighs*

What I have learned and I am still learning daily is that it is absolutely OK to miss people who have hurt us or who didn't deserve us. We are human, but it goes to show that our love for that person was so enormous they couldn't hold on. So again I say that to say this, go ahead - miss people. Miss them even though they don't deserve to be missed, hell sometimes not even thought about. Miss them because the reality is this, whether good or bad, they were a very real part in your life. That is something we can not take back. Give the memories so much more than they could have EVER given you in the flesh.